King and Country
by RemoWilliams
Summary: A James Bond Style secret agent chooses to rebel against his orders and becomes King of a small country.


Fade In:

INT FANCY OFFICE- NIGHT

BRIAN GRAY and CATHERINE IVANOVA slowly creep in, guns in hand. They're a good-looking couple: he's tall, dark and handsome and she's athletic, blond and gorgeous.

The resemblance continues in the fact that both of them look a little battered and bloodstained. It doesn't detract from their good looks, but merely states that they were forced to kick the asses of about a dozen people and are prepared to fight a dozen more.

BRIAN

You get to work on finding the launch codes on the computer. I'll open the safe and get the detonator.

CATHERINE nods and gets started with the skill of a master hacker.

Meanwhile, BRIAN takes out a portable safe-cracking kit from inside his jacket and displays similar expertise. It takes only moments to defeat the lock and open the door.

BRIAN

Bugger.

CATHERINE

What is it?

BRIAN swings the door wider and steps out of the way. Now, CATHERINE can see that there is a second safe inside of the first.

CATHERINE

They planned well for emergencies, you have to give them that.

(Looks closer)

That's a DNA-encoded lock. Probably keyed in for anyone in the Inner Circle.

BRIAN brightens at that piece of news and shrugs off his jacket.

Looking over the various rips and stains with the air of a man perusing a wine list, he chooses a particular bloody patch and dabs it on the lock. Like it's predecessor, the bolts unlock and the door opens. Revealed is a vaguely prototypical device which BRIAN scoops up.

BRIAN

I told MacWilliams that his death was going to be bloody useful.

CATHERINE just rolls her eyes at that and gets back to work. Within moments, she gets the information that she needs and downloaded to a thumbdrive.

Then, as they get up to leave, a mountainous figure blocks the entrance.

UGARTE, a ogre of a man whose face is lined with scars and cruelty, swaggers through the door with his hands behind his back. Grinning, he seems oblivious to the guns pointed at him.

ugarte

Good job! Those little treats will be worth a lot to the highest bidder.

(Grins even wider)

Of course, that will be after I take them from your crushed and destroyed corpses.

CATHERINE

Aren't you forgetting something?

She gestures with the gun that she's holding. In response, UGARTE brings a grenade out from behind him and mimics the gesture.

After a frozen moment, BRIAN is the first to break the silence.

BRIAN

You're bluffing. An explosive in this enclosed space will kill you as well.

UGARTE

True. But, I know you Brian. You've always been convinced that you could beat me in a hand-to-hand fight. And, I've always wanted to kick that charming smile of yours down your throat.

He opens his jacket with his free hand.

UGARTE

I don't have any hidden weapons. You toss your guns out the window, I set down the grenade and then, we'll dance. Or, I pull the pin and we take our chances. Since I'm closest to the door, I like my chances a lot better than yours.

BRIAN stares at UGARTE for a moment, trying to see any hidden tricks or booby-traps. Then, abruptly, he tosses his gun through the window and gestures for CATHERINE to do same.

She shoots him a rebellious look, but, after a second glance at the grenade, complies.

UGARTE immediately tries to corner BRIAN, so that his superior size will be his advantage. Realizing this, BRIAN stays just out of reach, steps in for a few hard hits and then gets out before his opponent can grab him.

After the third time this happens, UGARTE gets frustrated and tries to rush his enemy. With a matador's flourish, BRIAN sidesteps, trips the behemoth and punches him in the throat as he falls past.

Landing with a thud against a bookcase, UGARTE is back up in an instant. A hit that would have taken down most men only served to annoy him.

UGARTE

(Raspy Voiced)

Not bad.

With one hand, he tears a three-foot metal sculpture off of the wall.

UGARTE

But, playtime is over. Now, I'll finish this.

With the extra feet added to UGARTE's reach, the office goes from being cramped to claustrophobic and there's no way that an attack can be dodged.

BRIAN responds by grabbing his own weapon. An elegant-looking clock that's scarcely bigger than six inches.

UGARTE

Oh, you must be jok-!

In one smooth motion, BRIAN yanks the clock out of the wall, whips it around and tags UGARTE in the eye with the plug. The big guy roars like a wounded lion and, while he's flinching, BRIAN follows up with a swift kick to the balls.

BRIAN

It isn't about size, Ugarte. It's about how you use it.

He punctuates the humor by kicking the fallen man in the head a few times to make sure that he doesn't get up again.

BRIAN

Let's go.

CATHERINE

Wait.

She comes over and kicks UGARTE a few times as well. In response to BRIAN's look, CATHERINE gives a defensive shrug.

CATHERINE

It looked like fun.

BRIAN just shakes his head and starts for the exit.

cut to

int. hotel corridor

The pair move quickly, tense because of their unarmed status.

CATHERINE

I don't suppose you have any back-up weapons?

Approaching the elevator, the tension ratchets up several notches.

BRIAN

We'll know in a moment or two if we need them or not.

He slides his key card in the lock. And, when the doors open, there's...

Nothing. The elevator's completely empty.

Relaxing slightly, the two of them get on.

cut to

int. elevator

Pressing the elevator button for the ground floor, CATHERINE feels triumphant enough to give BRIAN a smirk.

CATHERINE

The next stop will be the Casino floor and we can blend with the crowds and the noise. As you British say, it shall be "smooth sailing", yes?

BRIAN

That's an American expression.

(Beat)

I have to admit I am somewhat relieved. The fight with Ugarte took long enough to where I was afraid we'd get discovered.

(Voice from intercom)

Well, I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings.

cut to

Int. high-tech computer room

A shriveled-up weasel of a man, POLIKOFF, sits perched in an enormous chair before an equally enormous bank of monitors, all of which are currently displaying CATHERINE and BRIAN.

POLIKOFF grins, a rancid expression that shows very little humor and even less mercy.

polikoff

Actually, that's not true. I LOVE being the bearer of bad tidings.

cut to

INT. ELEVATOR

Both BRIAN and CATHERINE look at the corners and crannies of the elevator as they try to guess where the next threat is going to come from.

catherine

He's going to gas us!

POLIKOFF

(Voice from intercom)

Gas? Oh, no, the elevator's not equipped for that. Good idea, though. I should have that feature installed. I have something different in mind for you. Rest assured that it will work just as well. Goodbye.

The instant that the intercom clicks off, the elevator doors slide open. The pair fall into defensive stances as they see...

Again, nothing. Just the normal hustle and excited chaos of a casino.

cut to

int. casino floor

The place is engulfed with the noise of people winning and (mostly) losing. There are plenty of security guards, but they're all busy watching the customers.

Feeling somewhat surreal, BRIAN and CATHERINE move towards the front door.

cut to

EXT. CASINO- CIRCULAR DRIVE

The surreality grows as one of the valets hurries off to get their car.

Looking around, the pieces finally click into place for BRIAN.

BRIAN

Now, I understand.

Off of CATHERINE's puzzled look, he gestures towards the front gate and explains.

BRIAN

Both the walls and the gates are reinforced to where they could keep a tank from coming through. Also, they're manned by a small army. Who are now waiting for us.

CUT TO

EXT: FRONT GATE

Unlike the ones in the casino, these security guards move with grim efficiency, readying heavy machine guns and missile launchers.

CUT TO

EXT. CASINO- CIRCULAR DRIVE

BRIAN

Makes perfect sense, really. Why risk shooting up the casino and offending the punters? If they take us at the gate, there's a lot less collateral damage. And, if we don't try to leave the grounds, we're as good as prisoners anyway.

CATHERINE

So, what do we do?

BRIAN thinks for a moment, then a remarkably evil smile spreads across his face.

BRIAN

I have an idea. Frankly, it's something that I've always wanted to try.

The valet pulls up with BRIAN's car, a vintage Jaguar. BRIAN takes the keys and hands the young man a neatly-bound stack of hundreds.

In shock, the valet just stares at him, unable to even stammer out thanks. In turn, after settling CATHERINE into the passenger seat, BRIAN just waves off any gratitude.

BRIAN

(As he slips in behind the steering wheel)

Just consider it severance pay.

Confusion passes the young man's face as BRIAN guns the motor and blasts away. The confusion rapidly turns to terror as the car continues around the circular drive, heading back towards the entrance with increasing speed.

cut to

Int. Brian's car

BRIAN is giving a somewhat demented chuckle as he floors it. Beside him, CATHERINE looks halfway between panic and delight as she braces for impact.

cut to

EXT. CASINO- CIRCULAR DRIVE

The valet jumps out of the way as the Jag barrels towards the doors. Barely slowing down, the car crashes through with a shower of smashed glass.

cut to

INT. CASINO FLOOR

All the players shriek and dive for cover as BRIAN blasts through the main entrance way.

cut to

ext. elevator

The doors slide open and UGARTE stalks out, clutching a truly massive handgun.

cut to

INT. BRIAN'S CAR

BRIAN

Oh, perfect timing!

cut to

INT. CASINO FLOOR

UGARTE has just enough time for his eyes to widen and mouth to drop when he sees what's coming for him. Then, the Jag nails him, pinning the massive thug against the wall.

Before the dust has even settled, BRIAN hops jauntily out of the car and picks up the pistol from where it was knocked out of UGARTE's hand.

BRIAN

(In a loud voice)

Ladies and Gentlemen!

(Shoots the Jag in the gas tank)

I think you should leave before the car blows up.

(Shoots the gas tank a few more times for emphasis)

Halfway panicked by BRIAN's cataclysmic entrance, the crowd decides to go the rest of the way and rushes for the exit.

As CATHERINE gets shakily out of the car, BRIAN saunters over to one of the bars lining the walls. The bartender, a beautiful brunette with seen-it-all eyes, hasn't blinked at any of the commotion. Nor does she blink when BRIAN slaps another stack of hundreds down in front.

BRIAN

Single-malt whiskey please. Glen Drumnadrochit, if you have it.

CATHERINE

You know, the idea that you can shoot a gas tank and have it explode is a myth.

BRIAN

I know.

The bartender fills three glasses, gives one to BRIAN and takes one for herself. After clinking glasses, they knock back the liquor. Then, grabbing the cash, she gives BRIAN a jaunty salute as she heads for the door.

With the rest of the bottle in one hand, he starts fishing in his jacket with the other as he heads back towards the car.

BRIAN

This, on the other hand-

(Pulls out UGARTE's grenade)

-should do the job nicely.

BRIAN places the bottle on the roof of the car as UGARTE begins to stir. The big man regains consciousness just in time to see his enemy place the explosive next to the bottle.

Furiously, he tries to push the car away, but to no effect.

BRIAN

(Extends an arm to CATHERINE)

Shall we?

They stroll away while UGARTE snarls impotently, too furious to even yell an insult.

At a safe distance, BRIAN aims the pistol almost negligently and puts a few more bullets in the car. The vibrations of the impact cause both the bottle and the bomb (Both perched near the edge of the car roof) to start sliding towards the car's hood.

Seeing an opportunity, UGARTE makes a desperate grab...

And, misses. The grenade tumbles away, lands on the floor and the activating lever falls off.

For a moment, pure rage flares in UGARTE's eyes. Then, just as abruptly, the anger drains away and is replaced by a sort of philosophical fatalism.

Unlike the grenade, the bottle fell within reach. Grabbing the booze, UGARTE pulls the cork and takes a long swig. He has just enough time for a few swallows, when the explosions begin.

cut to

EXT. CASINO- CIRCULAR DRIVE

As CATHERINE and BRIAN emerge from the smoky entrance, they're instantly surrounded by a ring of security guards. All armed to the teeth, all pointing their weapons at the pair.

HEAD SECURITY GUARD

Any last words?

BRIAN

Has anyone here studied architecture?

This nonpluses the guards. Certainly not their first choice for last words.

HEAD SECURITY GUARD

Um, what?

BRIAN

Fascinating subject, really. Every single time I have to go into an enemy building, I make a point of studying the blueprints. For weaknesses, useful hiding places, things like that.

HEAD SECURITY GUARD

So?

BRIAN

So, in the event of a fire, the sprinkler systems go off. But, only for the downstairs. The upstairs levels have too many computers to use water and Halon gas is used instead.

HEAD SECURITY GUARD

(Impatiently)

Again, so?

BRIAN

Normally the gas shouldn't be a problem for people upstairs. But, the main ventilation shaft was in the section of the wall I rammed. Between the car and the explosions, I'd say that it's pretty well blocked off.

(Beat)

By the way, how long do you think your boss can hold his breath?

The guards all trade glances and the HEAD SECURITY GUARD pulls a walkie-talkie from his belt and clicks it on.

HEAD SECURITY GUARD

Mr. Polikoff?

cut to

INT. HOTEL CORRIDOR

As the Halon gas vents into the air around him, POLIKOFF reaches the elevator and jams the key-card in desperately. In his haste, however, the card snaps in half and jams the lock.

Clawing futilely at the doors, a gasping POLIKOFF slowly sinks to his knees.

cut to

EXT. CASINO- CIRCULAR DRIVE

BRIAN

Now, you can continue following the orders of a dead man and shoot us. Or, you can go into the casino and help yourselves to millions of untraceable, and now unowned, pounds.

The guards don't even need a second to consider the choice and there's an instant rush for the doors.

Once the dust clears, BRIAN hands the device to CATHERINE.

BRIAN

There shouldn't be any further problems. You can easily get the codes and the detonator to Tsarnoff at the embassy.

CATHERINE angles her head up for a passionate kiss, but BRIAN merely gives her a chaste, goodbye peck on the forehead.

BRIAN

Farewell, Catherine.

And with that, he moves off into the darkness.

cut to

INT. outer office, British gov. building

The office is classic Brittania. Understated elegance, a touch of heraldry and the quiet weight of centuries of tradition.

The main secretary, ELLEN VREELAND, is lovely, but only in a very prim and proper fashion. Typing away at her computer, she presents a perfect picture of cool competence.

So, naturally, when BRIAN strolls in, he has to do his best to rattle her.

BRIAN

Of all the foreign beauties that I've seen in my travels around the world, nothing can compare to the true English rose.

Ellen

(Icily)

This "rose" is far too used to your particular brand of fertilizer.

BRIAN opens his mouth for a response, but, before he can speak, the intercom crackles to life with the voice of BRIAN's boss: SIR JASPER HAWKINS-SMYTHE.

SIR JASPER

Gray! Stop harassing my secretary and get in here.

BRIAN gives a slow look at a now smirking MS. VREELAND.

BRIAN

You saw me coming and turned on the intercom, didn't you?

She just makes a small shooing gesture towards the inner office.

BRIAN

You have a cruel and devious streak, Ellen.

(Pauses at the door)

I admire that in a woman.

cut to

Int. Sir Jasper's office.

Three men are in the office, all of whom rise to greet BRIAN. SIR JASPER, a well-dressed and well-bred man of "comfortable" years, reaches out to shake BRIAN's hand even as he delivers a scolding.

SIR JASPER

I do wish you wouldn't flirt with Ms. Vreeland, Brian. She's far too intelligent for the likes of you, anyway.

BRIAN

It's nothing personal, sir. I flirt with everybody. Why, even you, in a certain light...

SIR JASPER

Enough frivolity, Gray!

(Indicates the two other gentleman)

This is Mr. Edmondson and Mr. Reaves, both members of Her Majesty's government, currently liaising with the United Nations.

EDMONDSON's a roly-poly desk-jockey type, completely harmless. REAVES is another story. Leaner and sharp-eyed, he's also a bureaucrat, but of the kind that gets things done. Whether they need doing or not.

Reaves

Let's get directly to business.

He hands BRIAN a folder, then turns on a flat screen to show the picture of a man in his late forties who looks both intelligent and brutal.

REAVES

Andrej Petrovich. Started out smuggling guns, expanded into drugs and prostitution and is currently involved in just about anything sordid that will turn a profit.

BRIAN

I've heard of the man.

(Dryly)

Speaking of sordid, I understand that he's become a politician as well.

Edmondson

True. About five years ago, he became the President of Tomislavia. He wasn't a citizen, but he got around that by marrying a local.

REAVES

Petrovich has become a lot smoother in recent years. Presents himself as a man of the people, likes to be called "Andy" at world summits, but, underneath, he's the same thug that he's always been. Using money, drugs and women, Petrovich corrupted certain members of the U.N. and used their access to steal secrets.

SIR JASPER

One secret in particular concerns us, Gray.

He touches a remote and the flat screen's picture changes to a weapons testing site.

SIR JASPER

This is Project Jericho. It uses sound waves that are amplified and focused, much in the same way that lasers use light.

A machine that looks vaguely like a speaker system gets wheeled out and pointed at a tank parked on a dais at the other end of the range. The prototype whines, quickly builds to a high-pitched screech and the tank simply falls apart. No explosions, nothing dramatic. It simply vibrates to pieces.

SIR JASPER

We believe that Petrovich doesn't want to keep the technology for himself, but will instead sell it to the highest bidder.

EDMONDSON

Currently, he's located in the neighboring country of Pannongrad. Since political corruption has worked so well, Petrovich has decided to expand his horizons. The former President died from a heart attack, they're having Presidential elections in a few months and one of the candidates is his chosen puppet.

BRIAN

(Musingly)

Pannongrad.

REAVES

Are you familiar with the country?

BRIAN

Not really, but I have a reliable contact there, Vladimir Rakoschi.

(Off of the questioning looks of the others)

We met some years ago in Africa, during the aftermath of another assignment. The termination of Alessandro Colletti.

EDMONDSON

Ah yes, Codename Caligula.

(Curiously)

What was Colletti doing in Africa?

BRIAN

Everything that he ever wanted to. That's why we had to terminate him.

REAVES

A quite successful past operation, Gray. We need to focus on the matter at hand. Find out if Petrovich has indeed stolen the technology. And, if so, destroy any plans that he possesses.

BRIAN

Nothing further?

REAVES

No. He's too visible in international politics. The mission is information retrieval and removal. Nothing further.

From the tone that REAVES uses, it's clear that the last statement was both an order and a dismissal. Without anything further to say, BRIAN nods to the other two and leaves.

cut to

Ext. west africa-afternoon

As the sun rises on a hot, dusty morning, a Range Rover with military markings barrels down a dirt road.

cut to

Int. range rover

The dust raised by the Rover makes the light inside slightly hazy and dreamlike, but all five occupants of the vehicle are used to it and it doesn't make any change in the bullshit they're trading back and forth.

Three of them are native mercenaries who don't speak much English and the two others, BRIAN and VLADIMIR RAKOSCHI, don't speak much of the local dialect. But, since the conversation is about gambling, minimal translation is needed.

BRIAN looks rougher around the edges and, for want of a better term, "looser". The same devil-may-care professionalism is still there, but he seems a bit more relaxed and carefree. Currently, he's listening to VLADIMIR, a pleasant-looking corporal of indeterminate age.

VLADIMIR

You shouldn't have turned in early. The poker game was merely getting started.

BRIAN

After winning all of the money, I didn't see any point to continuing.

VLADIMIR

Ah, but that's when the game really gets interesting. We had to continue with bartered goods. When a man bets his shoes, shirt and the fillings in his teeth, it makes for some true dramatic tension.

Before BRIAN can respond, the DRIVER interrupts with a burst of the local language. Brian's P.O.V through the windshield shows a young teenager standing in front of ruin of a house waving at them, trying to get them to stop.

BRIAN

Let's see what he wants. If nothing else, we can give directions to the nearest aid station.

cut to

ext. side of the road-africa

The DRIVER and the boy are talking back and forth. The rest of the crew has also gotten out, more as an excuse to stretch their legs than anything else.

VLADIMIR

He says that he knows where a weapons cache is and that, for a price, he can take us to it.

BRIAN

Let's get him some food and water first. Poor kid looks half-starved.

They all head for the side of the van.

BRIAN

(Reaches through open door, starts grabbing stuff)

Water.

(Hands the bottle to the kid)

Sandwich.

(Repeats action)

And, gun.

(Pulls a pistol and shoots the boy between the eyes)

Distracted by the food and with his hands full, the boy barely has time to look surprised before he collapses to the ground.

VLADIMIR

(Shocked, Shouting at the top of his lungs)

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE!? ARE YOU CRAZY!? WHY-

BRIAN

(Shouting just as loud)

LOOK AT HIS ARMS! LOOK AT HIS ARMS!

The DRIVER, who's the oldest and most experienced of the locals, takes a close look and his face clears. Pointing, he explains things to the other two in the local dialect and they relax visibly. Baffled, VLADIMIR turns to BRIAN.

BRIAN

He's got scars on his forearms, the kind you get from fingernails.

BRIAN stoops over and mimics a clawing gesture inches away from the boy's arm. From this perspective, the form and spacing of the marks are unmistakable.

BRIAN

Since they all run from the elbow to the wrist, I figure that he got them while helping to hold people down.

He demonstrates by grabbing his own forearm in a reverse hold and repeating the clawing gesture on his other forearm.

BRIAN

Likely on women while being raped or on men while being tortured.

VLADIMIR

(Sickened)

The boy can't be older than fourteen.

BRIAN

People grow up fast in a war zone.

(Beat)

He was probably part of some local gang and that stuff about a weapons cache was just an excuse for an ambush. I hope-

A shot barks out and one of the locals drops to the dust. The rest quickly dive behind the vehicle as more shots rain down on them.

BRIAN

(Grimly)

As I was about to say, I hope his friends aren't close by.

VLADIMIR

It's looks like all the shooting's coming from that old house.

BRIAN risks a look.

BRIAN

Bugger. Stone walls. Better cover than ours. That's a problem.

cut to

Int. old stone house-p.o.v. looking out

The bandits are firing at the Range Rover and what they lack in professionalism, they make up for with enthusiasm and experience. Suddenly, from their P.O.V., a Russian anti-tank weapon (The kind that were a staple of eighties action movies) pops around the side of the range rover and fires. The last thing we see is the warhead streaking towards one of the open windows.

cut to

EXT. SIDE OF THE ROAD-AFRICA

The explosion knocks down some of the walls and caves in the roof. By some miracle, one survivor staggers out and is promptly Swiss-cheesed by two dozen bullets.

VLADIMIR

There's an old engineering saying.

(Looks down fondly at the Russian launcher)

"If you have a problem, use a bigger hammer."

The group starts towards the wreckage to look over their former enemies.

BRIAN

Where did you get that thing, anyway?

VLADIMIR

As I said, the poker game got quite interesting after you left.

(Beat)

I also won a whole crate of those chocolate candies with the cherry liqueur centers.

DRIVER

(Speaking English for the first time)

Oh, I love those.

They approach the "re-ruined" house, which sits atop of a small rise. As they draw level, what's revealed makes even the most battle hardened among them pause.

BRIAN

Jesus...

Behind the house is a shallow depression filled with corpses. Men, women and children, all shot and stabbed. There could be anywhere from dozens to hundreds. It's hard to tell from the way that they've been tumbled in like pieces of garbage.

VLADIMIR

Who do you think did this?

BRIAN

One of the rebel factions. Or, one of the local warlords. Or, the military sent by the government. Around here, some of the groups fit into all three categories. Whoever they were, they've probably moved on since they-

(hesitates slightly)

-finished here. The ones that we took out were just stragglers.

For a long moment, VLADIMIR just looks at the bodies. Then, he spots a shovel in the wreckage of the house, picks it up and starts shoveling dirt over the dead.

BRIAN

What are you doing?

VLADIMIR

(Shoveling while talking)

All the workers or equipment's being used for the fighting or relief efforts. We can't even spare the gasoline for a decent cremation.

BRIAN

There's too many to bury by hand.

VLADIMIR

It will take several hours before another can come out here to pick us up. The only other thing that we can do is to sit on our asses and try not to think about what's happened.

VLADIMIR shovels even harder, trying to bury himself in the work.

VLADIMIR

Doing something is better than doing nothing.

BRIAN looks at him for a long moment, gets a pick and starts helping. One by one, the others solemnly join them.

cut to

int. brian's bedroom-london-late night

BRIAN'S eyes fly open as he wakes from his dream about Africa. Wiping the cold sweat from his brow, he glances at the shadowy form of the woman sharing his bed. Reassured that his nightmare hasn't woken her, BRIAN quietly gets up and heads for the kitchen.

cut to

Int. brian's kitchen

Sitting at his kitchen table, BRIAN stares into a glass of scotch as he wrestles with old and ugly memories.

Hearing footsteps, he glances up as ELLEN walks in. With her hair down and clad in nothing but a silk robe, she looks considerably more alluring than her office persona.

ELLEN

Care to talk about it?

BRIAN

It was one of my early assignments, before you arrived in the department. The man targeted was a monster and I haven't had a moment of regret over killing him. But, while I was there, fighting broke out. Old tribal feuds, recent revolutionary factions, standard thievery and murder. All combining to make a huge mess.

BRIAN breaks off and empties his glass. Ellen looks like she wants to say something, but, for the life of her, can't think of a single thing.

BRIAN

It's bizarre. People grow up watching thousands of deaths in action movies and slasher films. You see a real dead body and there's no dramatic lighting or scary background music. The first thought that pops into your head is, "Oh, how fake that looks."

(Fills his glass again)

Then, the smell hits you and nothing's ever prepared you for that. And, when it's hundreds all in the same spot...

BRIAN drains his glass again and stands.

BRIAN

I'm going to go take a shower and wash some of this sweat off.

cut to

int. shower

BRIAN stands under the spray. With a faint click, the shower door opens and ELLEN comes in and embraces him from behind. For a long moment, he savors her touch. Then, turning, BRIAN kisses her almost desperately.

cut to

INT. BRIAN'S BEDROOM-LONDON-EARLY morning

ELLEN slowly wakes up and gives a slow and very satisfied stretch. The satisfaction turns to disappointment as she realizes that BRIAN'S already gone.

But, in his place, a single white rose has been left on his pillow. ELLEN inhales the scent and smiles the quiet smile of a woman in love.

cut to

int. pannongrad national airport

As BRIAN leaves the airplane, he is once again in his sleek persona of The Ultimate Professional. Even the semi-chaos of crowds of people trying to leave the country on the next plane out fails to dent his calm.

Meeting him is PERCIVAL JONES, an undersecretary at the embassy and a twitchy person who might as well have "Permanent Flunky" tattooed on his forehead. After exchanging pleasantries, they head for the car.

BRIAN

(Nodding towards the crowds)

Is it always this active?

PERCIVAL

Oh, this is nothing.

(Cracks his knuckles and chuckles cynically)

The election is in ten days and once Petrovich is in power, you'll really see some people desperate to get out.

cut to

Ext. pannongrad city

They get in the car.

BRIAN

It's that much of a sure thing?

PERCIVAL

Every candidate opposing Petrovich's man has either gone missing, quit or turned up dead. The final one died in a car crash yesterday.

(Nervously taps his fingers on the dashboard)

An amazingly thorough car crash, by the way. Every single bone in his body was broken multiple times.

While JONES has been talking, he's scratched or rubbed his nose a few times. Finally, he surrenders to necessity, takes out a handkerchief and starts blowing furiously.

PERCIVAL

(Thickly)

I rather envy the people leaving. This has been a simply beastly assignment. The food's terrible, the violence has truly begun to spiral out of control and something local has completely aggravated my allergies.

BRIAN

Your nose and your gut hardly concern me. About the violence, however, you can go into more detail.

PERCIVAL

Andrej Petrovich isn't so bad. He's mean, but he sees enough of the big picture to restrain himself. Usually.

(Drums his free hand on his leg)

But, some of his men are pure criminal scum. Now that the election's practically over, they've really started to run wild.

BRIAN

(Suddenly tense)

Such as kidnapping women off of the street?

Directly ahead, on one of the side streets, a group of three men are dragging a cursing and struggling woman towards a black van.

PERCIVAL

Currently, we are under strict orders to not get involved in any local incinden-

BRIAN

(Cutting him off)

Just shut up and stop the car.

Stepping out, BRIAN starts rapidly walking towards the group. Seeing him approaching, the man closest to BRIAN lets go of the girl and starts to reach for his gun.

BRIAN

(Shouting in Russian)

YOUNG LADY! STOP ATTACKING THOSE MEN!

All of them, even the girl, instantly stop what they're doing and gape at BRIAN. Turning from them he starts yelling at the street at large.

THUG #1

(Russian)

What?

BRIAN

(Russian)

HELP! SOMEBODY CALL THE POLICE! THIS WOMAN IS ASSAULTING THESE THREE MEN!

THUG #1

(Russian)

Are you a fool? This-

Turning back towards the thugs, BRIAN smoothly draws his gun as he faces them. Caught flatfooted, the first two die without even reaching for a weapon. The third barely gets his jacket open before being killed as well.

Slapping in a fresh clip, BRIAN starts hammering shots at the waiting van. Choosing discretion over valor, the driver of the van promptly guns the engine and takes off.

Beside him, the woman gets shakily to her feet.

woman

(Weakly in Russian)

"Stop attacking those men"?

Between her shock and the surreality of the situation, she starts to weakly laugh.

Abruptly the laughter stops as BRIAN shoves her to the ground and dives in the opposite direction. A hail of gunfire chews up the pavement where they had been seconds before.

A second vehicle loaded with bad guys comes barreling down the street with the thugs inside blasting away with everything they have. Not trying anything clever or cute this time, BRIAN simply loads his last magazine. Waiting until they get close, he leans out from cover and double-taps the guy in the passenger seat and one of the shooters in the back.

At the end of the street, the car wheels around for another pass. While his opponents maneuver, BRIAN calmly strolls over to one of the corpses and pulls a submachine gun from underneath his jacket.

cut to

INT. THUG'S CAR.

Muttering curses in several languages, the bad guy in the back reloads his weapon.

cut to

ext. sidewalk

Like a matador waiting for the last charge of the bull, BRIAN stands ready with his pistol in one hand and the submachine gun in the other.

With the tires smoking, the car accelerates for another pass.

Calmly, BRIAN brings both weapons up to waist level, preparing to fire.

Before he can, however, an anti-tank round streaks past him, nails the car dead center and blows it to kingdom come.

Turning, BRIAN gets a blast of familiarity. Standing ten feet behind him, with a rocket launcher on his shoulder and a big grin on his face, is VLADIMIR.

VLADIMIR

Welcome to Pannongrad! Just like old times, hey?

BRIAN

Thanks for the help.

(Beat)

Not to sound ungrateful, but how did you know about the kidnapping?

VLADIMIR

Kidnapping?

BRIAN nods towards the corpses and to the woman, who's getting even more shakily to her feet a second time.

VLADIMIR

I didn't know about any kidnapping. I'm a captain in the Citizen's Militia and the gentlemen in the car just robbed a bank eight blocks away.

For a frozen moment, BRIAN stares blankly at VLADIMIR and then starts laughing.

VLADIMIR

If they hadn't seen you with the bodies of their comrades and given in to the temptation for revenge, they might have gotten away.

BRIAN

(Still chuckling)

It's like the old wild west around here, isn't it?

VLADIMIR

Better, my friend! Much better! We have gunfights and we also have vodka.

BRIAN

I hope that's an invitation.

VLADIMIR

Yes. There is much that we need to discuss.

By now, PERCIVAL has gotten out of the car and is staring at the wreckage with his mouth open.

BRIAN

Send my things on to the British Embassy and I'll be along soon enough.

PERCIVAL just looks at him, unable to form a response.

cut to

vladimir's apt. balcony

The two of them sip their drinks as they watch the people pass by on the city streets.

Taking advantage of the peaceful moment, BRIAN studies the changes that the years have wrought in his friend. VLADIMIR still has the same quiet humor that he had before, but it now has a dark and bitter edge. It's basically the same "What the fuck" expression worn by a person who expects nothing and still manages to get disappointed.

VLADIMIR

I know that you have to officially deny everything. But, is it too much to hope that you're here to assassinate a certain individual?

BRIAN

I'm afraid not. Sorry.

VLADIMIR

Damn.

BRIAN

Isn't the U.N. monitoring the election?

VLADIMIR

All of the murders and violence and crime are "Domestic" problems and for the police to deal with. The U.N. is only here to monitor voter fraud and will not lift a finger until the actual voting begins.

BRIAN

And then?

VLADIMIR

The theft of the Presidency will be so obvious that a blind man could see it. Another committee will be formed to make recommendations about what's to be done. They should have something ready in a year. Or, two. Three at the absolute most.

VLADIMIR looks around at his city with the air of a man about to be evicted from his own home.

VLADIMIR

Strongly worded protests or possibly diplomatic efforts will probably be used. Words, after all, are cheap. And there's nothing valuable in this country that can justify any expensive efforts.

(Beat)

The world has handed us a shit sandwich for dinner. The worst part is that people are telling us, "You know, we are trying our best. A lot of countries don't even have that much. So, after you are finished eating your shit, don't forget to say "Thank You'".

BRIAN

It's moments like these that actually makes my job look easy.

VLADIMIR

(Laughs somewhat ruefully)

I would never call your job easy. My country's problems certainly don't compare with what happened in Singapore three years ago.

BRIAN

You've heard about that?

VLADIMIR

Are you surprised? When a man prevents a rogue artificial intelligence from launching a modern day version of the Black Plague, rumors will occur.

Much like the "look-over" that BRIAN did earlier, VLADIMIR does a slow assessment of BRIAN, comparing his friend to the man that he knew years before.

VLADIMIR

Still, I can see your point. Your usual targets have probably committed enough sins to damn them for a thousand lifetimes. Not much regret in dealing with them.

BRIAN

There was a surprising amount of regret in terminating the Artificial Intelligence.

(Quietly, half to himself)

She screamed when I unplugged her.

In response to VLADIMIR'S curious look, BRIAN just shrugs.

BRIAN

Long story.

After a brief uncertain pause, VLADIMIR changes the subject.

VLADIMIR

I see. Well, tonight PETROVICH will be hosting a victory celebration tonight and you can meet the key players.

(Beat)

Besides, considering what he's about to do to my homeland, the least that I can do is get some free drinks out of him.

With that sentiment, the pair clink glasses.

cut to

Int. Hotel lobby

The evening is barely begun and the place is already crammed full of people dressed to the nines. The crowd runs the gamut from Petrovich's triumphant crew (And their assorted sycophants), glad handing opposition members who are trying to salvage something from defeat and a great many individuals who want one last party before the storm breaks.

Stylishly attired, BRIAN enters and heads towards a small knot of people with VLADIMIR standing among them.

The group turns out to be people who, like VLADIMIR, are trying to keep the lid on the country.

VLADIMIR

Brian, this is General Sergey Endovik, who is in charge of the military and militias. Secretary of the Interior Genadi Ceridov, who, until we elect a new leader, is the man running things. And Jana Bezhmel, Director of Natural Resources.

Hands are shaken and greetings are exchanged. ENDOVIK is a grizzled old warhorse who's vaguely out of place in fancy clothes and would look vastly more comfortable in uniform. Preferably with a background of artillery strikes and doubly so if they directed against most of the people in the room. CERIDOV's about ten years younger, professorial and wears his tailored suit with more aplomb. But, given the expression of distaste that he displays, he agrees with ENDOVIK and would even offer to call the bombs in. JANA is a lovely creature hovering around the age of thirty and, judging by the familiar way that she slips an arm around him, VLADIMIR'S main squeeze.

VLADIMIR

And this, Gentlemen and Lady, is Brian Gray, troubleshooter for the British Government.

endovik

Oh, I'm familiar with Mr. Gray's reputation as a "Troubleshooter'".

Off of everybody's inquiring look, ENDOVIK elaborates.

ENDOVIK

I have a friend who is the Commander of the military garrison at Reykjavik. I do know a little bit about what happened above the Arctic Circle.

All curious eyes turn to BRIAN, who merely shrugs.

BRIAN

A billionaire shipping tycoon went mad with power. International piracy, secret base with a submarine fleet, etc.

VLADIMIR

(Deadpan)

Another long story?

BRIAN

(Equally straight faced)

Quite. The details would simply bore you.

ceridov

Are you here to do something about-

BRIAN

No. As I've already told Vladimir, my assignment has nothing to do with the political situation here.

All of them pluck champagne glasses from off of a passing waiter's tray and start moving towards one of the inner ballrooms.

brian

However, as the General can attest to, once the bullets start flying about, collateral damage happens and innocent bystanders get hurt.

cut to

Int. Hotel ballroom

BRIAN

(Cont.)

Now, you can do me the favor of pointing out the "innocent" bystanders.

BRIAN gestures towards one of the roulette tables. PETROVICH is there, roaring with laughter as he loses thousands. In the flesh, he exudes rough good humor and greasy charisma and it's easy to see why the rest of the crowd (Even the ones that hate him) is laughing along with him.

BRIAN

I know Petrovich, of course. But, who is the eye candy?

The lady in question is a spectacular redhead leaning against PETROVICH's shoulder.

jana

Serena Colcannon, his mistress. She's actually quite nice. Out of everybody in this room, she's the only one who has no problem admitting that she's a whore.

Movement catches JANA's eye and she motions at a man off to the side of the room who is busy vomiting behind some curtains. The man straightens, wipes his mouth on the fabric and starts to rejoin the party. He looks similar to PETROVICH, but the resemblance has been blurred by years of booze and self-indulgence.

JANA

Arkadi Petrovich, Andrej's cousin. He used to be a top enforcer, but success has ruined him. Now, he spends most of time drunk, high or both.

ARKADI takes a half-dozen steps and begins vomiting again, this time on the floor.

JANA

He is a complete piece of filth. If you don't kill him, I will.

CERIDOV

Those two are not very important. The one to watch is Mikhail Kozlov.

He points to a pompous and over-stuffed man at one of the Baccarat tables. For a moment, he has the satisfied look of a winner, but it fades quickly when he realizes that nobody else gives a damn. From the petulant look that he directs at PETROVICH, it's obvious that he feels that the dictator is stealing some of his thunder.

brian

The Candidate that Petrovich is supporting. He does not look exactly like an inspiring leader.

ENDOVIK

True. Without Andrej's support, Kozlov would still be an assistant file clerk somewhere.

CERIDOV

That's what might work to our advantage. Mikhail has been going to political rallies and hearing people chant his name and give speeches about how wonderful he is. The fool is actually starting to believe it.

BRIAN

And you're hoping that Petrovich will lose his temper and slap him down?

VLADIMIR

Oh, we're hoping for more than a slap. Andrej does tend to be... direct in his personal dealings.

CERIDOV

Well, whether that happens or not, we're going to need allies. I'm going to work the room and see what support I can drum up.

ENDOVIK

I shall get drunk and start a bar fight. It's been over twenty years since I've kicked someone's teeth down their throat and some of the people here have me feeling nostalgic.

Endovik drains his glass and moves off, swaggering like a pirate. Ceridov follows more sedately in his path.

VLADIMIR

I, myself, might play some Baccarat. Going to tempt your luck tonight, Brian?

Brian

I doubt it. I was recently in Monaco and got my fill of gambling.

JANA

I've always wanted to go there. How was it?

BRIAN

(Dryly)

Smashing. Simply Smashing.

(Beat)

However, there are ways to tempt Lady Luck that don't involve the gaming tables.

The other two follow his gaze back to PETROVICH. Having lost the latest bet, the dictator hands over a fat wad of cash to the croupier. Almost as an afterthought, he takes a few more handfuls of money from inside his jacket and stuffs them down the dress fronts of some of the surrounding women.

jana

Ugh, so tacky.

VLADIMIR

Pimps and drug dealers tend to throw their money around and old habits die hard.

(Turns to Brian)

I fail to see what your interest is.

BRIAN

Upper left inside pocket.

Some of the hookers working the room, drawn by the scent of easy cash, are clustered around PETROVICH and are offering their chests. Smiling, he obliges them with more money. As he reaches inside his jacket, VLADIMIR nods with recognition.

VLADIMIR

The key to his hotel suite.

Jana

You both can see that from all the way over here? Impressive.

BRIAN

Gypsies and pickpockets are trained to have sharp eyes. Old habits die hard.

JANA looks at VLADIMIR.

Jana

So, which one were you, dear? A gypsy or a pickpocket?

VLADIMIR just gives her a smirk before turning back to BRIAN.

VLADIMIR

We can play this just we did in Botswana. You start seducing Serena and, while Petrovich is distracted, I'll slip in and take the key.

There's a flicker of hesitation in BRIAN's eyes, which VLADIMIR instantly catches.

VLADIMIR

What was that?

BRIAN

What?

VLADIMIR

That look you had just now. You looked almost...guilty.

It takes a moment for the realization to arrive. But, when it does, VLADIMIR starts crowing in delight.

VLADIMIR

Mother of God!

(Laughs)

You're involved with someone. You, of all people.

BRIAN

(Irritated)

Is that so impossible?

VLADIMIR

Brian, out of all the unbelievable things that I've seen you do, the idea that the silver-tongued seducer could be in a committed relationship is, yes, the most impossible.

BRIAN

(To Jana)

Is he this supportive with other couples?

(Back to Brian)

You know how it is. Half of the women I meet are like Serena. "Associated', shall we put it, with assassins and megalomaniacs. She may be as nice as you say she is, but I can't see myself walking off into the sunset with her.

Jana

And the other half of the women?

BRIAN

Well, since we live in a modern, equal-opportunity world, the other half are megalomaniacs and assassins. Although it lends a certain spice to the sex, the mornings after tend to be a bit dicey.

Vladimir

So you're settling with somebody normal?

BRIAN's eyes flash a bit at the word, "Settling" and his response is quietly serious.

BRIAN

You can't have a relationship without trust and I know that Ellen will never betray me. With the type of life I lead, that's not a small thing.

(Beat, continues in a somewhat lighter tone)

Besides, I don't think anyone's definition of settling includes being with a woman who is beautiful, intelligent and surprisingly kinky.

VLADIMIR mentally digests that for a moment, especially the "kinky' part.

VLADIMIR

(Sincerely)

Then, I wish the two of you the best of luck.

(Beat)

Getting back to the subject, how are we going deal with Petrovich? I certainly can't be the one to make a move on Serena. Not with Jana right here...

His voice trails off as he gestures towards JANA and realizes that she's just walked off. Turning around, VLADIMIR sees that his girlfriend has plucked two glasses of champagne off a passing waiter's tray and is moving towards SERENA.

Slinking up to the redhead, JANA leans over, whispers into her ear and offers her one of the glasses. After a second of hesitation, SERENA smiles and takes the drink.

As the two of them move off to one of the tables on the other side of the room, JANA flashes the same smirk that VLADIMIR had given her moments before.

VLADIMIR

Son of a bitch.

After a moment of diplomatic silence, BRIAN clears his throat.

brian

Look on the bright side. She may use her cell-phone to take some interesting photos for you.

Leaving before VLADIMIR can retort, BRIAN moves off towards the roulette tables. Using the excuse of placing a bet, He quickly pushes his way through the crowd and finds a place next to PETROVICH.

When BRIAN crowds the dictator a little, PETROVICH prepares to bark at him to back off. But, as he sees that BRIAN is looking past him, PETROVICH follows his gaze. Seated at one the tables, JANA and SERENA are talking intimately, with the brunette slowly trailing a finger up the redhead's arm.

For a moment, PETROVICH looks as shell-shocked as VLADIMIR did. In a moment however, his sense of humor resurfaces and he gives the two ladies an ironic salute.

As more people at the Roulette Table become aware of SERENA's seduction, they start moving to get a better look. Some of the gentlemen start shoving and BRIAN quickly uses the confusion to snatch PETROVICH's key. With the job finished, no one pays attention as BRIAN slips away.

cut to

int. Hotel Hallway

As BRIAN leaves, he hears thumping and a muffled shriek coming from one of the storage closets.

cut to

int. storage closet

Inside the closet, ARKADI gives a whine of excitement as one of the waitresses struggles against him. With the ease of experience, he backhands the woman and starts taking his clothes off as she lays stunned. He pulls his pants down and, as he bends down to slip them over his feet, sees a second pair of shoes behind his own.

With a snarled oath, ARKADI straightens and turns to confront BRIAN. However, the maneuver would have been difficult under normal circumstances and, between the booze and the pants still around his ankles, it's impossible for ARKADI. He trips and knocks himself out cold against a shelf.

BRIAN, who had been ready to punch out the thug, blinks a little at this sudden anti-climax. Recovering quickly, he starts going through ARKADI's pockets. After finding a fat wad of cash, BRIAN gives it to the waitress.

BRIAN

(In Russian)

Here. Quit your job and go visit some relatives for a while.

She nods, takes a moment to spit on ARKADI and rushes out.

As BRIAN finishes searching ARKADI, he finds a room key exactly like (Except for numbers scribbled on it) the one he lifted from PETROVICH. Bemused at the time and risk that he could have avoided, he pockets it and leaves.

cut to

int. hotel hallway- top floor

At the door to PETROVICH's suite, a bored guard slouches.

His boredom vanishes as an attractive hotel maid starts pushing her towel cart down the hall. In response to his obvious interest, she gives him a cat-like smile and begins to swing her hips as she moves past him.

His eyes glued to her ass, the guard cranes his neck to watch her as she sways her way around the corner. With a sigh of regret, he drags his attention back to the rest of the hallway.

Just in time to catch a gun-butt upside the head, applied by BRIAN. Much like before, he goes through the fallen man's pockets and comes up with cash. Which he then hands to the grinning maid in exchange for the distraction. After a moment of thought, BRIAN adds the guard's rings and watch.

BRIAN

(In Russian)

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, quit your job and go visit some relatives for a while.

The woman blows a kiss at the fallen guard and saunters away.

cut to

int. Petrovich's hotel suite

Gun in hand, BRIAN enters and does a quick look around for more guards. After seeing that the place is empty, he drags in Mr. Unconscious, gives him a quick sedative with a hypo to make sure that he stays that way and gets to work.

A laptop on one of the tables serves as the obvious first target and BRIAN begins scanning it with a device that looks like a cell-phone but isn't. Having found the right location, he pops a data-spike out the bottom and stabs the laptop like a junkie with a switchblade. Soon, the Vampire Module is busy sucking out all the data.

While that's going on, BRIAN completes his search and finds a safe in one of the cabinets. While reaching for his safe-cracking kit, BRIAN remembers the key that he pulled off of ARKADI.

BRIAN

(Mutters)

Nobody's that stupid.

Sure enough, the numbers on the key's tag open the safe. The contents, however, prove to be both mystifying and disappointing, consisting of several packages of MREs.

The Module softly chimes the completion of it's task and BRIAN packs it up and heads out the door.

cut to

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY- TOP FLOOR

Right into eight of PETROVICH's men all pointing guns at him.

BRIAN

Ah, Deja Vu.

cut to

INT. PETROVICH'S HOTEL SUITE

The HEAD THUG takes BRIAN's gun and shoves it into his belt and the rest of the bully-boys relax a bit after he's disarmed. The closest one keeps his pistol ready and the rest stow their guns away. The opened jackets reveal a truly impressive array of backup guns, grenades, knives and, for one individual, a small axe. That last one draws a rather derisive look from BRIAN.

BRIAN

A hatchet? Really?

THUG

(Defensively)

They're very useful. In fact, you can-

head thug

Shut up!

The HEAD THUG begins to frisk BRIAN, checks his cuff links and starts giving his watch a minute scrutiny.

BRIAN

What are you doing?

HEAD THUG

I've heard about you clever types with the fancy gear. You have coat buttons that explode and watches that shoot lasers, things like that.

BRIAN gives him a look that's twice as derisive as the one that he gave Hatchet Boy.

BRIAN

This is the real world. Operations get executed with guns and skill, not clever gadgets.

Somewhat embarrassed, the HEAD THUG steps back and sneers.

head thug

Then, I hope that begging is one of the skills you've developed.

BRIAN

(Straightens his cuffs)

That is one ability that I've never acquired.

(Adjusts his tie)

Fortunately, I've always had other strengths to fall back upon.

Calmly, BRIAN uses a Derringer to shoot the mook with the gun. Stepping forward, he puts the second bullet into the chest of the HEAD THUG, drops the Derringer, plucks his gun from the waistband as well as the man's own pistol from his shoulder holster as he starts to fall and begins cutting the rest of them down.

Taken by surprise, A few manage to pull their guns and get off wild shots. But, in seconds, it's all over. As he reloads, BRIAN looks at the one that he shot first.

BRIAN

He didn't even have his gun cocked.

He looks at the HEAD THUG, who's still alive but barely.

BRIAN

You would have been a lot better to have only two or three people backing you up. With eight, you all felt overconfident and were sloppy.

head thug

(Gasping)

How?

BRIAN picks up the Derringer and flips his tie over. Revealed is a tiny holster and four extra bullets sewn into the silk backing. He sticks two fresh rounds in, palms the small gun so that it's concealed and, with the air of a magician, straightens his tie. Then, BRIAN holds his hands up theatrically to demonstrate that they're empty and flips his tie over again to show that the Derringer is now snug in the holster.

BRIAN

I must admit, sometimes a little cleverness goes a long way.

head thug

You haven't won yet. We have another team of twelve men coming.

Unexpectedly, BRIAN gives him a wide smile of gratitude.

BRIAN

Thank you for telling me. Otherwise, I might have walked into an ambush.

The HEAD THUG has just enough time to look furious before BRIAN shoots him.

Deciding that discretion is the better part of valor, BRIAN opens a window, and looks outside for an escape option.

cut to

ext. hotel window

No luck. No fire escape or ladder. Not even a six-inch ledge.

cut to

INT. PETROVICH'S HOTEL SUITE

For a moment BRIAN looks around, trying to form a plan. Fortunately, inspiration strikes and he shuts the door to the outer room of the suite.

cut to

int. hotel hallway- top floor

The second team moves swiftly along the corridor, weapons out and ready. Approaching the door, the leader opens it from off to the side and puts a video feed around the doorjamb. After seeing that it's all clear, he motions for the rest to follow him in.

cut to

INT. PETROVICH'S HOTEL SUITE

The door to the inner room is closed and they repeat the process. Once they're in, the first thing that the leader sees is the open window. Tentatively, he peers out.

cut to

EXT. HOTEL WINDOW

Nothing. No sign of anyone or any chance to get away. Puzzled, the leader pulls his head back in.

cut to

INT. PETROVICH'S HOTEL SUITE

The leader turns to face the others. Just as he's about to order them out, the inner door swings shut and reveals BRIAN with machine guns in each hand standing in a recess chopped out of the wall.

Before the leader can yell a warning, BRIAN mows them down like wheat. After tossing the empty weapons down, he pulls the hatchet from his belt.

BRIAN

You were right. This is rather useful.

cut to

INT. HOTEL HALLWAY- TOP FLOOR

Moving swiftly down the hall, BRIAN comes to stop in front of the elevator. When it dings and opens up, five cops are inside and immediately train their weapons on BRIAN.

BRIAN

I just killed twenty of Petrovich's men in his hotel suite.

Instantly, the cops holster their guns and start congratulating BRIAN, with handshakes, back slaps and cries of "Good job".

As the rest go down the hall to loot the bodies, one of them, a SERGEANT, stays behind.

sergeant

Sir? I'm sorry to have to bother you, but would you mind taking the back stairs? I mean, twenty bodies and all-

BRIAN

No, no. I fully understand. There's a certain level of decorum to maintain. No problem whatsoever.

cut to

EXT. PANNONGRAD CITY STREET- LATE EVENING

As BRIAN strolls along, he scans the recovered data while informing SIR JASPER of his progress and eating a apple that he bought from a street vendor.

BRIAN

I have the technical schematics for Project Jericho. The encryption software registers whenever somebody downloads the files or tries to crack the codes.

(Finishes his snack)

Since Petrovich stole the information, he's made no attempts to copy it, break the encryption or sell it to somebody else.

SIR JASPER

Odd.

BRIAN

Yes, very odd. The other large piece of information from the laptop is a detailed invasion plan. Apparently, if Andrej wasn't able to rig the voting, he was going to roll in with tanks and troops.

SIR JASPER

Rather a moot point now.

BRIAN

True. What is the progress with regards towards the election "difficulties'?

SIR JASPER

All I've been told is that the proper authorities are monitoring it and that they are giving matters there a high priority.

BRIAN isn't exactly thrilled about the non-answer, but he lets it slide.

BRIAN

I see.

(Beat)

I should spend a few more days in Pannongrad. Just to make certain that there are no back up records to Project Jericho.

Having been a field agent in his time, SIR JASPER isn't slow on the uptake.

sir jasper

And, if Petrovich and his men come after you for the theft, you will be forced to defend yourself.

(Chuckles grimly)

You have three days, Gray. Be careful.

BRIAN hangs up, but a text message comes through before he can put the phone away.

"PETROVICH'S MEN WATCHING THE EMBASSY. PROCEED TO SAFE HOUSE DELTA".

CUT TO:

int. safehouse delta

BRIAN enters, gun in hand and ready for anything. The only person present, however, is the supremely nonthreatening PERCIVAL.

PERCIVAL

(Eyes the gun)

I say, is that necessary?

BRIAN

Unexpected changes tend to bring out the paranoia in me.

He puts the pistol away and gives the Vampire Module to PERCIVAL, who visibly relaxes once he has it.

BRIAN

Let the Ambassador know that I'll be staying longer than expected.

Truer words were never spoken. As soon as BRIAN opens the door to leave, several men come pouring through, armed with tasers.

BRIAN manages to get his gun out and puts a few bullets into the guts of one of the attackers at point-blank range. But, a glancing shock from one of the stun-guns causes him to drop it.

With no time to grab another weapon and no space to run, BRIAN improvises the best that he can. A low kick snaps the ankle of one man, an elbow to the throat finishes a second and a head-butt takes out a third.

In the end, however, he gets overwhelmed and electrified into unconsciousness.

cut to

int. interrogation room

Cuffed to a chair, a battered and stoic BRIAN watches as PETROVICH comes through the door.

Next to him, also cuffed to a chair and looking about as helpful as a kitten in a fistfight, is PERCIVAL.

petrovich

With absolutely no warning and despite being completely outnumbered, you still managed to kill two and cripple three of my men. You live up to your formidable reputation, Mr. Gray.

BRIAN

You've heard about me?

PETROVICH

We've had a mutual acquaintance in common. Back during my gun-running days, the Black Serpent was a frequent customer.

BRIAN

(Surprised)

You dealt with Rene Fourier?

PETROVICH

Surely you can't be shocked that I would deal with a terrorist.

BRIAN

No, I'm shocked that you would deal with such a tight fist. Among his many other sins, he was the cheapest person on the planet and I'll bet that he died still owing you money.

PETROVICH

(Ruefully)

You would win that bet. How did you kill him, by the way? The rumors were a little vague on details. Did you use a gun? Or, a knife?

BRIAN

I threw him headfirst into a jet engine.

PETROVICH

Very nice!

PETROVICH pulls the Vampire Module out of his pocket.

PETROVICH

Pleasant as these reminisces have been, it is time that we get down to business.

(Brandishes the device at BRIAN)

What is the pass code for this?

BRIAN opens his mouth to tell him to go to Hell. But, before he can do so, PERCIVAL interrupts.

PERCIVAL

Tell him what he needs to know.

About to tell him to shut up, BRIAN checks himself and takes a closer look at his fellow captive. Then, he swings back to face PETROVICH.

BRIAN

Before we do anything else, uncuff your boy there and send him out of the room. He's of no further use to you and the sight of a traitor makes me sick.

PERCIVAL does his best to look bewildered.

PERCIVAL

What are you talking about?

BRIAN

Your eyes are dilated and you're actually calmer and less twitchy now than when you met me at the airport. Like a junkie who's received his fix.

(Beat)

I was told that people were being bought off with drugs and women and I'm a fool for not anticipating this.

PERCIVAL

I...I'm not...Uh, I don't...I had a gun on me, and that's why-

petrovich

Don't even bother.

With a jerk of his head, PETROVICH motions for one of his men to release the wretch. Once he's out of the chair, PERCIVAL leaves without looking at anyone or saying anything.

As he leaves, KOZLOV comes in, visibly agitated.

PETROVICH

Ah, one idiot leaves and another comes to take his place.

kozlov

Andrej, have you gone insane? Kidnapping a British agent? They'll never tolerate-

PETROVICH

Relax, Mikhail! Relax. I'm just going to ask a few questions.

With an easy motion, the dictator pulls out a pistol.

KOZLOV

Andrej?!

PETROVICH

As the great Al Capone once commented, "You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with just a kind word."

BRIAN

Actually, that was said by Irwin Corey.

PETROVICH frowns at having his quote stepped on.

PETROVICH

Whatever. The pass code, please.

For a moment, BRIAN hesitates and tries to figure a plan to miraculously beat the odds again. Unfortunately, inspiration doesn't come and he bows to the inevitable.

BRIAN

Go fuck yourself.

The muzzle is now centered on his forehead.

PETROVICH

Are these secrets truly worth dying for?

BRIAN

Of course not. I'm dying for the privilege of telling you to go fuck yourself.

The appreciative chuckle that PETROVICH gives doesn't keep him from pulling the hammer back.

KOZLOV

Andrej, you can't-

PETROVICH

Be quiet.

(To Brian)

Goodbye, Mr. Gray.

The hammer falls with a crisp snap, but there's no gunshot. Laughing again, PETROVICH starts typing on the Module's keys.

PETROVICH

I actually had the pass code all along. The Chief Ambassador at your Embassy has a weakness for blondes with big tits.

BRIAN

Prick.

PETROVITCH starts scrolling through the information and, after a few minutes of reading, starts laughing. Not like the short bursts of amusement that he did previously. This is a real gut-buster.

PETROVICH

You're here because of Project Jericho!?

(Laughs)

I thought you were here to kill me because of some of my other past crimes.

He notices a lack of reaction in BRIAN.

PETROVICH

You don't know about Project Jericho, do you? It doesn't work. Or, at least, not very well.

BRIAN

How would you know? You haven't accessed the technical data.

PETROVICH

True. But, the budget and personnel files were not encrypted. The Project Manager makes more than 500,000 pounds, there's at least a dozen places to skim more money off and they've been working on this weapon for over twenty years.

The Dictator has BRIAN at his mercy, so there's no need to lie. Furthermore, BRIAN has had years of government service, so he knows about how the game is played.

BRIAN

It's a feeding trough.

PETROVICH

Exactly. A nice little benefits package for party hacks. Your superiors sent you here because they were afraid that I'd expose their little scam. The demonstration video they had truly settled my suspicions. Once you get past all the fancy editing, the so-called super weapon has a maximum range of fifty feet. That's pathetic.

BRIAN considers this for a few moments. As much as he hates to admit it, it all fits together. Save for one small detail.

BRIAN

What about the MREs?

PETROVICH

What?

BRIAN

That's the only thing that I still can't figure out. Why do you have a bunch of American field rations in a safe?

petrovich

You broke into my safe? You are very good.

(Hesitates)

I shouldn't tell you this, but, when you've done something clever, it is hard to resist talking about it.

KOZLOV

Then, you should try harder.

PETROVICH starts a slow burn while KOZLOV continues.

kozlov

We have too much at stake here for you to risk merely because you wish to brag.

With a visible effort, PETROVICH ignores him.

petrovich

The American military invented a new type of plastic to put the MREs in. It's the same strength, but much, much cheaper. On over eighty percent of the world's packaging, this will shave thirty to forty percent off the cost.

BRIAN

I see. It isn't as sexy as a super weapon, but companies will pay big money to get their hands on it.

PETROVICH

They already have. I offered an exclusive, once-in-a-lifetime deal to fifteen of the world's largest corporations. Fifty million dollars, no questions asked.

BRIAN

Which one bought it?

PETROVICH

All of them.

After a moment, both of them start cracking up.

BRIAN

An exclusive deal that everybody bought.

(Laughs)

I still think you're a prick, but I like your style.

PETROVICH

Thank you.

KOZLOV

Can we get the mutual admiration over with? Release him and we can get back to our business.

PETROVICH starts his slow burn again.

petrovich

I realize that this is a nearly impossible request to make of a politician. But, you need to learn how to be quiet.

kozlov

You need to learn how to pay attention when I speak. By this time next week, I will be President and you need to respect my position.

PETROVICH

Really?

(Turns to BRIAN)

Why don't you tell Mikhail about what else was on the laptop.

BRIAN

It was an invasion plan. Just in case the election went badly.

petrovich

Some of the opposition are not the usual sheep. If one of them lost their temper and shot you, I was going to salvage the situation with direct action.

He waves his gun at KOZLOV.

PETROVICH

Still not too late for you to take a bullet.

Kozlov

Andrej, don't waste my time with your empty posturing.

The Dictator is smiling, but there's a mean look in his eyes. And, the more that KOZLOV talks, the more strained his smile becomes.

petrovich

"Empty posturing"?

KOZLOV

We both know that you've put months of effort, both legal and illegal, into this campaign. You're not stupid enough to throw it away at virtually the last moment.

PETROVICH

I'm not?

The smile gets broader and the mean look turns murderous.

kozlov

Besides, you're not going to scare anybody by waving an empty gun around.

At that last remark, BRIAN winces, the GUARD rolls his eyes and PETROVICH shakes his head in disgust.

petrovich

Mikhail, that is simultaneously a very good point-

(Pulls out a magazine, slams it home and loads the chamber)

-and the dumbest thing that I've ever heard anybody ever say.

KOZLOV's arrogance manages to last until the first bullet hits. Then, a look of shock and disbelief dawns as PETROVICH puts the rest of the clip into him.

PETROVICH reloads, considers putting a few more rounds into KOZLOV's corpse just for amusement and decides against it.

PETROVICH

(To the GUARD)

Tell all the men to clear out and head back to Tomislavia. We invade in five days.

guard

(Indicates BRIAN)

What about him?

PETROVICH

Release him. His Government isn't going to do a damn thing.

(To BRIAN)

Very pleasant to have met you, Mr. Gray. Now, if you will excuse me, I have a country to destroy.

And, with that exit line, he leaves, already picturing his victory.

cut to

Int. vladimir's apt.

BRIAN enters, intent on finding VLADIMIR and telling him about the invasion.

And VLADIMIR is the first person that he sees, stretched out on a sofa and covered with blood. From the ashen look that he has, it's clear that he's been dead for hours.

A red-eyed JANA stands nearby with CERIDOV trying to comfort her.

jana

He heard that you had been taken and tried to rescue you.

For a long moment, BRIAN looks at what's left of his friend and allows himself to feel grief. Pushing it away, he turns to the others.

BRIAN

I am afraid that we have no time to mourn. Petrovich has killed Kozlov and has decided to invade.

The other two don't show shock, but merely a type of weary anger.

BRIAN

His forces will be here in five days.

jana

We will be ready. The dog may take our country, but he'll pay for every inch of it in blood.

CERIDOV

What do you plan on doing?

BRIAN

My superiors will have to be told and they may be able to do something at a international level.

Neither JANA or CERIDOV look optimistic.

cut to

int. british embassy

A video conference has been set up and BRIAN has just finished making his report to SIR JASPER, EDMONDSON and REAVES.

REAVES

So, you have retrieved all the information relating to Project Jericho.

BRIAN

Yes. Because of the details I listed, a serious effort was never made to extract the information.

EDMONDSON

Clearly, the man does not know what he's talking about. Some of our greatest weapons, like planes or machine guns, took decades to develop.

REAVES

True. Project Jericho may not be fully battlefield ready now, but it continues to show enormous potential.

Since BRIAN'S going to need their influence, he doesn't argue with that.

BRIAN

Sir, what about the impending invasion?

REAVES

Unconfirmed invasion, Gray.

BRIAN

Petrovich said he was going to do it right in front of me. Right after he shot his own Candidate. I highly doubt that he was bluffing.

reaves

Until his forces cross the border, there is no invasion. And, troops cannot be mobilized based on one person's testimony.

BRIAN

Once he does cross the border, then what?

reaves

The United Nations will discuss the course on dealing with the problem. Troops may be sent. Diplomatic efforts may be used instead.

BRIAN

(Mutters)

Words, after all, are cheap.

reaves

What was that, Gray?

BRIAN

I was just remembering something a friend said, sir.

REAVES glares, but decides not to pursue it any further.

BRIAN

And the treason committed by the Ambassador and Jones?

EDMONDSON

With regards to the Ambassador, we again only have testimony from one source about any wrongdoing. A highly suspect source at that. Mr. Jones does have a substance abuse problem, but these days, we recognize it as a sickness. He will be allowed to enter a rehabilitation center.

This time, BRIAN doesn't mutter or bother to even partially hide his contempt.

BRIAN

In other words, the Ambassador has too much influence to be punished and Jones is part of the dirt that is to be swept under the rug.

REAVES

(Angrily)

I don't like your tone, Gray!

BRIAN

Pity. You're going to hear a lot more of it.

REAVES

(To SIR JASPER)

Kindly instruct your subordinate on the chain of command and the need for proper respect.

The silence from SIR JASPER speaks volumes. He only says something after several moments pass.

SIR JASPER

(To BRIAN, quietly)

Get some rest, Brian.

With that, SIR JASPER ends the video conference, cutting off himself, a poker-faced EDMONDSON and a sputtering REAVES.

cut to

INT. VLADIMIR'S APT. -Early morning

Despite any emergency, certain traditions must be kept. Accordingly, VLADIMIR has been cleaned up and properly laid out by JANA in his living room so that mourners can come by and pay their respect.

Word has already spread about the impending invasion. Even though it's very early, the room is full of a dozen people saying goodbye before they leave the country.

BRIAN enters with a bottle of single-malt whiskey in his hand. Judging from the whiskey's level, he's had more than a few.

BRIAN

Everybody leave. I want to talk to Vladimir in private.

Something about the tone of his voice keeps everybody, including JANA, from arguing. Wordlessly, they all shuffle out.

As soon as they're all gone, BRIAN grabs two glasses, pours drinks for himself and VLADIMIR and takes a seat next to his friend.

BRIAN

I still have nightmares about Africa. When people get close enough to me to see me have one, I always give some excuse about blood or corpses or something like that.

BRIAN drains his glass, but the whiskey is doing absolutely nothing for him.

BRIAN

The truth is, death has never bothered me. I can't say that without sounding like a monster, so I lie. But, whether it's one body or one thousand of them, it makes no difference.

(Beat)

I couldn't do this for a living if I was squeamish about messy details.

Leaning forward, BRIAN imparts one last secret to his friend.

BRIAN

I have nightmares because I could have stopped it. The forces in Africa were amateur hour. Kill six or eight key people and the survivors would be too busy fighting each other for control to bother the civilians.

Moving to refill his glass, BRIAN decides against it. Instead, he puts the cork back in and rests it in the crook of VLADIMIR's arm.

BRIAN

Whether it's with the angels or the devils, have a last drink on me.

Looking pensive, BRIAN leaves.

cut to

ext. rooftop of vladimir's building

Dawn slowly breaks, but BRIAN doesn't see it. The pensive look remains as he slowly wrestles with his thoughts and conscience.

cut to:

Int. meeting room-pannongrad city hall

CERIDOV enters and takes a seat next to an already sitting JANA and ENDOVIK. From the tension between the two, they've been arguing.

Picking up on this, the Interior Secretary tries to change the subject.

CERIDOV

Any new developments at all?

jana

Arkadi is dead. He must have been too drunk to hear the order to head back and was left behind. A group of five women beat him to death with crowbars.

CERIDOV

How do you know that they were women?

jana

Because, afterward, they left the crowbars shoved right up his-

CERIDOV

(Interrupt hastily)

Yes, yes, I see the point.

Despite his reluctance to rehash old arguments, CERIDOV can't avoid the subject at hand.

CERIDOV

The evacuation is going well, but most of the people who could leave already have. The remainder will die before abandoning their homeland. And, I'm afraid they will.

(Beat)

Now what?

ENDOVIK

We have to face Petrovich in a stand-up battle.

jana

We need to fight with guerrilla war. An insurgency.

ENDOVIK

(Angrily)

That won't work.

jana

(Even madder)

It's worked against the Americans!

ENDOVIK

The Americans pay attention to the rules of war. Petrovich doesn't. For every one of his men killed, he would slaughter fifty people chosen at random.

jana

Battle against his forces would be a slaughter as well.

ENDOVIK

Yes, I know. But, it would be soldiers dying and we would choose that as part of our duty.

(Grimly)

If the slaughter is one sided enough, it may get the attention of the media. And, they may get the U.N. to act quicker.

(Beat)

It's ugly plan, but it's the best that we have.

BRIAN

(O.C)

I have a better plan.

cut to

Meeting room doorway

BRIAN stands in the doorway. Despite having had a long day and even longer night, he looks relaxed. Like a great burden has been taken off of him.

jana

And, the plan is?

BRIAN

I have one condition first.

CERIDOV

What is it?

BRIAN

You have to declare me King.

To say that the three others are flabbergasted is putting it mildly. Their expressions range from disbelief to outrage at what they see as a very bad joke.

jana

You cannot be serious.

BRIAN

(Trying for a light tone)

Soon, the British Government will give me direct orders to return home. Once I refuse, I'll need a new job. King sounds just about right.

ENDOVIK

We don't have time for this nonse-

BRIAN cuts him off with a look. Suddenly, the pleasant facade is gone. In it's place is a cold-eyed man who can't even remember how many people he's killed for a greater good.

BRIAN

Has anybody here thought about what to do after the battle?

Speechless, the other three trade incredulous glances.

BRIAN

No, of course not. So far, your best plans are either to get slaughtered wholesale or piecemeal. Surviving isn't even an option.

(Beat)

We can win. But, there is no time to put things to a vote or ask permission. I give the orders and you do as I tell you.

There's a thoughtful silence as some of what BRIAN's saying begins to sink in.

CERIDOV

We should do it.

JANA and ENDOVIK stare at him in shock.

jana

(Faintly)

What?

ceridov

I will fight and die for my country, but I'd rather not. I have grandchildren and I would greatly prefer living so that I can watch them grow up.

(Beat)

And, what's the cost anyway? Declare a man King of a country that probably won't exist in a week? Mr. Gray has a reputation for achieving the impossible. I say we roll the dice.

ENDOVIK

What if we do win? Then what?

CERIDOV

Then, he's done more to earn the job of leader than most.

There's a moment of silence and the others can practically see the wheels turning in ENDOVIK's head.

ENDOVIK

We spent our money on trying to improve this country. Petrovich spent his money on the military and let his social services rot. We are equal on soldiers, but that's the only thing that we're equal on. We have mortars and jeeps with machine guns. He has tanks. We have two unarmed cargo planes that we lease part-time from a mining company. He has five helicopters with missiles and mini-guns. We have a cannon, but it's broken.

(Beat)

And, you say that we can beat him.

BRIAN

(With quiet finality)

Yes.

ENDOVIK shakes his head at the absurdity of the whole situation.

ENDOVIK

What the Hell. This land used to have Kings. Perhaps we should try it again.

They all look at JANA.

jana

Can you promise me revenge? Andrej's life in exchange for Vladimir's?

BRIAN

I'm sorry, but I can't. He'll probably stay well away from the field of battle. Afterward, I'll see what I can do, but I can't promise anything at this point.

JANA nods thoughtfully.

jana

An honest answer. I don't like it, but you told the truth. Very well, you have my support.

ENDOVIK

Now then, "Your Majesty". What is your plan?

The "Your Majesty" practically drips with irony, but BRIAN ignores that. Instead, he just gives everybody a wide, confident smile.

cut to

INT. MEETING ROOM-PANNONGRAD CITY HALL-two days later

The place is now a beehive of activity, with BRIAN in the center of it. With preparations for the war underway, he's busy trying to direct several things at once.

BRIAN

Is the last of the militia in place?

underling #1

Yes sir. General Endovik is coordinating their movements at the ambush site.

BRIAN

Good.

(To UNDERLING #2)

How is the IED production coming along?

Underling #2

The last of the materials arrived yesterday. The real bottleneck is assembly. However, we are only slightly behind schedule.

BRIAN

Sometime later tonight, I'll spend an hour or two helping.

REAVES

(O.C.)

I would have thought that such mundane tasks would be beneath your royal touch.

cut to

MEETING ROOM DOORWAY

REAVES, flanked by SIR JASPER and EDMONDSON, enter.

BRIAN

Ah, a dramatic pronouncement as you sweep into the room. Where have I seen that before?

(To the others in the room)

Would you all mind giving us a few moments of privacy, please?

They all file out and shut the door behind them.

EDMONDSON

Gray, this is insane.

BRIAN

Mr. Edmondson, for many years, I have done many insane things. The only difference is now, I'm not doing it because I was ordered to.

He turns to SIR JASPER.

BRIAN

Sir Jasper, I should be flattered that you came all this way.

SIR JASPER

In light of your recent elevation, it was the least that I could do.

Underneath the banter, there's a lot of tension. Two people with years of friendship and respect suddenly find themselves at an impasse.

Both fortunately and unfortunately, REAVES is there to break the moment.

reaves

(Impatiently)

Enough of this. I want an explanation of just what the devil you think you are doing?

BRIAN opens his mouth to respond, but gets cut off by a snotty REAVES.

reaves

(Sneering)

And, don't waste my time with some speech about how, "I had to act, I had no choice."

Quietly angry, BRIAN gives the bureaucrat a level glance.

BRIAN

Don't waste mine with talk of how you and your associates were fixing this country's problems.

REAVES bridles at this, which BRIAN ignores as he keeps talking.

BRIAN

You know, in cases of genocide, the nations of the world are bound by law to act. They have to do something. However, it isn't genocide until somebody in authority officially uses the word. The entire world can watch as thousands of people are slaughtered, but it isn't technically genocide. And, nobody has to do anything.

SIR JASPER

(Quietly)

I remember that one.

BRIAN

Of course you do. When you see madness, you don't forget it.

(Beat)

I could have called myself Chancellor or Premier or Lord Protector or anyone of a thousand other fig leaf of respectability names. It would have made the stupid people happy and that's at least half of my opposition. I named myself King because I am telling the world that I am taking responsibility. Everything that happens after this point is mine. If it's a failure, it will be my failure. But, if it's a success, it will be my success.

(Beat)

Everything, good or bad, mine.

Silence punctuates the King's words as the others try to absorb what they just heard. Unsurprisingly, REAVES is the first to break it.

REAVES

Well, I have a few things of my own to say.

BRIAN

(Cuts him off)

I don't want to hear it. Leave.

REAVES is almost comical in his outrage.

REAVES

You can't do that!

BRIAN

Yes, I can. I'm King and this my country. Wonderful, isn't it?

EDMONDSON has to start coughing to cover his laughter. SIR JASPER contains (barely) his laughter, but can't control his smirk. REAVES glares at the other two and tries to salvage his dignity.

REAVES

This isn't over.

He stalks out with EDMONDSON trailing behind. SIR JASPER follows, but pauses at the door.

SIR JASPER

Good luck.

BRIAN nods his thanks and tries to control his sorrow. SIR JASPER represents his entire professional career and it's hard not to feel a twinge as he walks away.

Behind BRIAN, a side door opens, creaking slightly as it swings wide. BRIAN turns at the noise, grabbing for his gun.

And relaxes, once he sees that it's ELLEN standing in the doorway.

BRIAN

You were listening the whole time?

ELLEN nods while walking towards him.

BRIAN

You have a cruel and devious streak, Ellen. I admire that in a woma-

She cuts him off with a kiss and then hugs him tight.

Ellen

How are you, Brian?

She lets go of him, so that she can look in his eyes.

ELLEN

I mean, really. How are you?

BRIAN

Good. Better than I've been in years.

After a moment of companionable silence, BRIAN clears his throat.

BRIAN

Ellen, this isn't how I planned to do this. And, it is quite abrupt. But, I don't know how much time I'll have with everything that's going on.

(Beat)

Ellen, will you be my Queen?

ELLEN gives him a wide, delighted smile.

ellen

No, not yet.

And, for the first time, BRIAN looks uncertain.

BRIAN

Ellen...I...-

ellen

I said, not yet. I have full confidence in you. But, just in case, I've diverted funds and created a safe house along with cover identities. And, I need to stay in my job in order to keep the escape routes open.

Ellen kisses him again.

ellen

I'll be more than happy to be your Queen. I will also be happy to be Mrs. Jane Townsend, married to Rupert Townsend and living in Melbourne, Australia.

She starts walking out the door.

ellen

(Over her shoulder as she leaves)

For my Coronation, I want a tiara. I've always fancied a tiara.

BRIAN stares after her retreating figure.

BRIAN

(Weakly)

Rupert?

cut to

Mobile Command center-Pannongrad forces

A curious sense of calm overlays the men and women at Command Central. They've done all they can to prepare and the only thing left to do is wait for the Tomislavian Forces.

At the center of the calm is BRIAN, who is busily orchestrating his men over the radio.

BRIAN

Do you have the enemy in sight yet?

cut to

Forested mountainside

A Forward Scout Unit has binoculars and other equipment set up. The leader spots something after a few moments of scanning the landscape.

Scout leader

(Into the radio)

Yes sir. It's faint, but it is definite contact. They should be in range in ten to fifteen minutes.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-PANNONGRAD FORCES

BRIAN

Good. Notify us if anything changes. Over.

(Beat)

Time to make the call.

He nods at the radio operator, who punches in a number.

cut to

mobile command center-Tomislavian forces

The place is a mirror image of their counterparts, with PETROVICH present and supervising.

His private cellphone rings and he answers.

PETROVICH

Hello?

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-PANNONGRAD FORCES

BRIAN

(Talking over speaker-phone)

Hello, Andrej.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-TOMISLAVIAN FORCES

PETROVICH

Brian! Or, should I say, Your Majesty? You've been very busy since we last spoke. To what do I owe this pleasure?

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-PANNONGRAD FORCES

BRIAN

I'm calling to tell you that your forces have to turn back. There's no need to have your men killed unnecessarily.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-TOMISLAVIAN FORCES

PETROVICH laughs like a man threatened with a butter knife.

PETROVICH

You are very resourceful, Brian. But, you aren't that resourceful. You're bluffing, nothing more.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-PANNONGRAD FORCES

BRIAN

Aren't you curious about how I got your private cellphone number?

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-TOMISLAVIAN FORCES

PETROVICH

Not really. I assume that my cousin, Arkadi, got drunk and said something stupid. That's how most state secrets get revealed around here.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-PANNONGRAD FORCES

BRIAN

Good point. My condolences on happened to him, by the way.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-TOMISLAVIAN FORCES

PETROVICH

It wasn't a shock. If the drink and the drugs didn't get him, an enemy would have.

(Beat)

Still, when you shipped him back, you could have at least taken the crowbars out of his ass.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-PANNONGRAD FORCES

As one person, everybody in the Command Center turns to look at JANA, who gives an unapologetic shrug.

BRIAN

Ah, sorry about that.

There's a slight awkward pause as BRIAN tries to recapture the thread of the conversation.

BRIAN

Actually, I got your cell number from your personal home computer.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-TOMISLAVIAN FORCES

That wipes any trace of a smile off of PETROVICH's face.

PETROVICH

We're not talking about some tin-can laptop that you can just punch open. My encryption is the best that money can buy and my home is guarded day and night. You couldn't have hacked into it.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-PANNONGRAD FORCES

BRIAN

I didn't, exactly. You see, nowadays people have dozens of old online accounts that they don't use anymore. Email addresses. Online shopping. Porn sites. Back-up porn sites. Porn sites with the really filthy stuff. And so on. The security is much less, so hacking them is more time consuming than anything else. Fortunately, I know some computer experts with some time to spare.

BRIAN tips his head at a nearby large screen where CATHERINE IVANOVA and a half dozen other assorted other types (Grizzled older man, young kid in Punk gear, studious Asian girl, etc.) are assembled.

BRIAN

When you see years worth of someone's old passwords, patterns emerge. One common mistake is to create an unguessable password and then use it over and over again with only slight variations.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-TOMISLAVIAN FORCES

BRIAN

(Over phone)

"Hunter of Souls", which was the nickname of Saint Andrej Bobola. The Saint that you were named after. And May 16th 1657. The date on which Saint Andrej was martyred.

The look on PETROVICH's face is a perfect blend of fury and chagrin.

BRIAN

(Over Phone)

That's quite a combination. One has to wonder what Freudian Analysis would make of it.

PETROVICH

(Grinds out)

Get to the point.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-PANNONGRAD FORCES

BRIAN

Once I had access, it was easy to follow your links to your military mainframes. Then, when you uploaded your battle plans to your men, into the CPU's of your helicopters.

(Beat)

You might want to check on them right about now. Use another cell-phone. Their radios won't be working.

cut to

open Field full of downed helicopters

COMMANDER JOSHUA WEBER, a forty-ish man of unknown nationality and questionable loyalty, paces as he listens to PETROVICH rail at him over a cell-phone.

However, the mercenary pilot has served too many dictators over the years to be intimidated and is too much of a professional to bother lying.

weber

Even if we could get the bloody birds up into the air, it wouldn't matter! We can't steer, because the guidance systems are shut down. And, we can't shoot because the firing systems are locked up.

(Pause, while he listens)

At least two days to get all the viruses out.

(Listens and winces)

Well, I'm sorry. But, whatever you plan to do next, it will have to be without us.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-TOMISLAVIAN FORCES

As he puts away the second cell-phone, PETROVICH turns to one of the men at the monitors.

PETROVICH

What is the progress of the Armored Division?

monitor soldier

No change. Still proceeding according to schedule.

The Dictator nods at that and gets back on the other phone with BRIAN.

PETROVICH

Clever job on the helicopters, but I notice that my tanks are still unaffected.

BRIAN

(Over phone)

We were on a tight schedule. Don't worry, they're next on the list. You see, we have a cannon. It's broken, but there are plenty of shells left. Thanks to the wars in the Middle East, turning leftover ammunition into IEDs has become an art form.

cut to

int. Cargo plane currently in flight.

The interior of the cargo plane is stacked to the ceiling with massed ranks of IEDs: three cannon shells strapped together with a blinking cell-phone attached.

BRIAN

(V.O.)

These days, even cheap cell-phones have GPS's in them. And, satellite tracking is free through the internet. All we had to do was program your location into the phones and they'll act as detonators.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-PANNONGRAD FORCES

BRIAN

At this moment, my planes are circling over your forces. Gravity will take care of the rest. So, again, there's no need to have your men killed. Have them turn back.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-TOMISLAVIAN FORCES

Stone-faced, PETROVICH ends the call and turns to the soldier that he spoke to moments before.

PETROVICH

Tell the men that there may be some resistance in the area that they are entering. But, they can break through. Under no circumstances are they to retreat.

MONITOR SOLDIER

Yes sir.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-PANNONGRAD FORCES

The upbeat mood of the assorted people in the Command Center goes a bit flat when they see that the Tomislavian forces are still coming.

jana

I can't believe that he's not having them back off.

ENDOVIK

(Dryly sarcastic)

Why should he? Tanks and men are replaceable. A retreat, however, would be a severe blow to his reputation and that would be unforgivable.

(Turns to BRIAN)

Well, your Majesty?

In contrast to PETROVICH's indifference, BRIAN looks...tired.

BRIAN

Tell the pilots to begin their bombing runs.

cut to

Stretch of deserted Highway near the Pannongrad border

Chaos erupts.

Even to a casual observer, the bombing appears sloppy and jury-rigged. Only one out of every five IED comes even close to their targets and it takes several to destroy a tank.

However, the Pannongrad Forces can cheerfully waste ten bombs for every one that works. And the ones that miss succeed in chewing up the road and making movement difficult.

Within minutes, the area is full of burning wreckage and dying men.

tomislavian tank commander

(Shouting into radio on general broadcast)

ALL UNITS RETREAT! SCATTER AND REGROUP AT POINT DELTA. REPEAT, ALL UNITS RETREAT!

At this point, about a third of the tanks are left and they get the Hell out of there.

cut to

MOBILE COMMAND CENTER-PANNONGRAD FORCES

Wild cheers erupt every person present. In the space of a few days, the people of Pannongrad have gone from victims to victors and the result is jubilation.

BRIAN tries not to be a wet blanket. But, having been on the receiving end of shitstorms as well as the giving, it's hard to feel the same celebration. A fact which ENDOVIK notices.

ENDOVIK

(Quietly, to just Brian)

Feeling sorry for our enemies?

BRIAN

No, I'm feeling sorry for the poor dumb bastards that Petrovich sent out to die. Although, I'll have to think of a more profound way of saying that for the history books.

ENDOVIK laughs grimly and BRIAN pushes his mood aside.

BRIAN

Now, on to the five hundred other impossible problems.

He starts to leave, but ENDOVIK stops him.

ENDOVIK

Thank you for saving my country, Your Majesty.

The words are said with complete seriousness, accompanied with a formal solemn bow.

Before BRIAN can respond, others have noticed what the General did and are offering their own bows and thanks. After a slight pause, BRIAN inclines his head.

BRIAN

The Crown accepts your gratitude. I just hope that you remember your good feelings on Election Day.

As he leaves, JANA gives ENDOVIK a questioning look.

jana

Election Day?

cut to

Int. Press room- Pannongrad city hall

The room is full of giddily uncertain reporters listening to BRIAN speak. They don't know if they're watching a Historic Event unfold or if it's merely a train wreck.

Whichever it is, it's news and everybody is giving the new King complete attention.

BRIAN

No leader can truly govern without the will of the people. I took power during a state of emergency and, now that the emergency is past, everybody has the time to decide if I should rule.

BRIAN begins scribbling on a sheet of paper, talking as he writes.

BRIAN

Over the space of the next month, people's votes shall be tallied. If two-thirds of the votes are in favor of me being King, I shall stay and work to the best of my abilities. If I do not, I will leave. And, no, I don't know what will happen next. Because they will your problems, not mine.

He displays the sheet of paper to the press.

BRIAN

A list of places to send your votes to are being run on television and in the newspapers. Write down your name, age, address and your choice: "Aye" or "Nay".

Setting the page down again, BRIAN draws a buzz of whispers from the reporters when he pulls a pocketknife out from inside his jacket. The buzz gets even louder when he opens it, slashes his palm and draws blood.

After making a fist to smear the blood evenly, BRIAN places his open palm face down over his writing. Picking up the piece of paper again, he shows the bloody hand print to everyone.

BRIAN

Finally, before you send it in, seal your vote with blood.

cut to

Int. meeting room- undisclosed location

REAVES, EDMONDSON and SIR JASPER are all watching the press conference on the television. REAVES looks aghast while SIR JASPER has his professional poker face on. EDMONDSON is offended, but mostly for form's sake.

reaves

He's mad. He's gone absolutely mad.

SIR JASPER

Not really.

REAVES turns his outraged look at SIR JASPER as the man continues.

sir jasper

Because of the AIDS crisis, the U.N. has lots of inexpensive and disposable blood testing kits.

EDMONDSON

(Interrupts, honestly curious)

How do you know that?

SIR JASPER

My Department deals with trouble and plagues cause trouble. In some places in the world, medical equipment and vaccines are worth more than gold.

He gestures at the TV screen.

SIR JASPER

(CONT.)

If anyone wishes to check for fraud, they can match the vote to the person through the blood. A cheap and simple way of guaranteeing a legitimate election. Clever. The demonstration was a bit too theatrical, but still...clever.

Left with no other target, REAVES projects a little of his aggreviation onto the other man.

REAVES

You sound as if you approve.

SIR JASPER

I do. And, I'm finding it hard to understand why you don't.

REAVES begins get irritated at having to explain the obvious.

REAVES

Mr. Gray- Let me say right now, that I will never call him "Your Majesty". Mr. Gray does not play by the rules.

SIR JASPER

And Petrovich does?

reaves

(Exasperated from Sir Jasper's constant skepticism)

Yes! He does!

The beaureaucrat takes a moment to calm himself down and gestures at the screen.

REAVES

Political leaders do not cut themselves with a knife on international television. It simply is not done. Petrovich understands that, as well as other unwritten rules.

SIR JASPER

So, as long as you don't see the blood, a dictator is the better choice as an ally?

REAVES gets a little defensive under SIR JASPER's none-too-subtle irony.

reaves

I know Andrej is a thief and a murderer. If we arrange a aid package through the U.N., he would probably steal at least half of it. The other half, however, would get through to his people and we could get genuine concessions from him in exchange.

(Beat)

Successful politics are achieved through compromise. Mr. Gray is capable of walking away from all negotiations over some niggling detail of personal honor. And, nobody would get anything.

(Pauses, chuckles darkly)

Hell, he's capable of suddenly killing people during peace talks.

SIR JASPER

Only if they deserved it.

No question on who that was pointed at. The tension in the room ratchets up a few notches and, after a moment, EDMONDSON moves to break it.

EDMONDSON

(Hopefully)

Perhaps he'll lose the vote.

The suggestion does defuse some of the tension, if only because both SIR JASPER and REAVES immediately disagree with it.

REAVES

I doubt it. His popularity is through the roof.

SIR JASPER

True. And, it isn't just the recent victory. He released information about some of his peacetime plans today. Some of them are quite... interesting.

cut to

INT. MEETING ROOM-PANNONGRAD CITY HALL

Surrounded by his counselors and their assistants, BRIAN is busy ticking off locations on a map of Pannongrad. Finished, he takes the map and hangs it on the wall.

BRIAN

A few years ago, Dr. Ichiro Takahashi came up with some truly revolutionary advances in gathering energy from the earth. In five years, our new geothermal grid will be providing two-thirds of our power. Safe, reliable and non-polluting.

CERIDOV looks a little skeptical at this optimism.

CERIDOV

If the technology is so good, why haven't I heard of it before?

BRIAN

A neo-pagan cult of fire worshippers took Dr. Takahashi hostage. Then, they tried to use his inventions to create volcanos in sixteen of the world's largest cities.

Everybody stops at looks at BRIAN.

CERIDOV

Really?

BRIAN

(Nods)

Yes. Since then, investors have been a little hesitant to fund his work. Nearly causing the deaths of millions tends to scare people.

jana

I'm not certain that I want lava flows in my backyard either.

BRIAN

Don't worry about it. To turn Takahashi-san's work into a doomsday device requires weapons-grade plutonium.

(Beat)

It's quite ironic. The cultists had the material and knowledge to create over two dozen nuclear bombs. They could have done a lot more damage, if they hadn't been so obsessed with ancient prophecies and virgin sacrifices.

BRIAN stops talking as he realizes that the looks have turned into incredulous stares.

BRIAN

(Shrugs)

Long story.

He starts gathering his things together.

BRIAN

Once we start scaling up our energy, we'll begin attracting more investors for heavy industry and business.

CERIDOV catches up to BRIAN as he's heading out the door.

CERIDOV

Your Majesty, if I could have a word with you for a moment.

BRIAN

Certainly.

cut to

int. corridor-pannongrad city hall

ceridov

I must confess, I am a little worried about the upcoming peace talks.

BRIAN

There's nothing to worry about. Petrovich is going to make a big show of trying to be reasonable before staging another invasion. Afterward, it might be a bit dangerous. But, while we're there, it will be mostly just be the two of us posing for the cameras.

CERIDOV

I'm referring about my own role in the upcoming operation.

BRIAN

Ah.

(Reassuringly)

There is some risk, but it will be minimal.

Despite their differences in age, BRIAN gives CERIDOV an almost grandfatherly pat on the back.

BRIAN

You'll be fine.

cut to

Basel, switzerland

news announcer

(V.O.)

In the latest twist of a story that has shocked and intrigued the world, peace talks between President Andrej Petrovich of Tomislavia and Brian Gray, self-appointed King of Pannongrad, begin later today.

As the announcer speaks, the camera pans across the city, then zooms in on a bunch of fancy cars pulling up to an expensive hotel.

NEWS ANNOUNCER

(V.O. Cont.)

Both parties have elected to choose the Grand Hotel de Trois Rois as a neutral site to discuss the issues at hand.

cut to

Int. hotel sitting room

Last minute equipment checks are underway as ENDOVIK and CERIDOV prepare for their mission. CERIDOV's still a bit nervous, but controlling it well.

In contrast, ENDOVIK's practically glowing. It's been ages since he went on a mission instead of just giving the orders and the promise of action has his adrenaline pumping.

Attired in suits and with thier gear stored away in briefcases, the two of them look like any other business men.

Sitting in the corner and watching, BRIAN gives them a judicious nod.

BRIAN

Good luck.

cut to

Ext. grand Hotel de trois rois garden

After running the gauntlet of cameras and reporters, BRIAN is led to a table and two chairs that have been set up in the garden.

PETROVICH is already there and stands to greet his counterpart.

NEWS ANNOUNCER

(V.O.)

Before formal peace talks begin, the two leaders have chosen to have an informal discussion about relevant issues.

As the flunky moves away, the pair shake hands and sit.

NEWS ANNOUNCER

(V.O. cont.)

One can only wonder at what they're talking about.

cut to

EXT. GRAND HOTEL DE TROIS ROIS GARDEN- close up

Both men take a moment to pour themselves some coffee before proceeding to the death threats.

PETROVICH

There is something I desperately wish to say to you, but I can't think of how to word it without sounding cliched.

BRIAN

"I should have killed you when I had the chance"?

PETROVICH

Precisely.

BRIAN

I get that a lot.

There's an odd sort of comfortable understone in the way they regard each other. When a person is a mortal enemy, it at least takes the guessing games out of the situation.

PETROVICH

There is a certain amount of pleasure to be found in our conflict.

BRIAN

Another cliche? "Finally, I've found a foe worthy of my steel."?

PETROVICH

No, it's more along the lines of: "At least you won't bullshit me."

PETROVICH waves his arm in a gesture that encompasses the Hotel and the onlookers, imbuing it with a weary cynicism.

PETROVICH

All of this is pointless. But, a bunch of self-important idiots will still make long, pretentious speeches.

Abruptly, the dictator snorts with humor.

PETROVICH

I never thought that I would say this, but, thanks to politics, lying and stealing has actually become boring.

Both PETROVITCH and BRIAN share a chuckle over that.

cut to

EXT. GRAND HOTEL DE TROIS ROIS GARDEN

Going back to the original long shot, the viewer can see the two men laughing together as the NEWS ANNOUNCER's voiceover continues.

NEWS ANNOUNCER

(V.O.)

The two leaders seem to be getting along quite well. I think it's safe to say that the crisis is past and that further war will be averted.

cut to

Int. executive office, banque de grande marche

From behind his desk, ALEXANDRE LAUTENS regards the two men seated across from him with quiet pleasure.

In turn, his two visitors, CERIDOV and ENDOVIK, display nothing but relaxed patience. The familiar surroundings of a elegant bankers' office has smoothed over any pre-mission jitters that might linger.

LAUTENS

Again, I would like to say that I am very pleased that you both have chosen to use our bank. If I may add, I am a little surprised at you choosing to do so at this point in time.

ENDOVIK

You mean, with the Peace Talks and all? Granted, the schedule is a bit difficult. But, it's actually the main reason that we're here.

CERIDOV

Recent events have underlined the need for a back-up plan if the situation arises.

lautens

Very prudent.

The need for further soft-soaping is eliminated when LAUTENS' secretary comes in bearing papers and folders. As she lays them on the desk, CERIDOV stands up.

CERIDOV

Before we attend to the paperwork, I'm afraid that the demands of old age must be met. Can someone direct me to a washroom?

cut to

Int. executive bathroom

CERIDOV enters and quickly locks the door. Then, taking a small explosive device out of his pocket, he arms it and flushes it down the toilet.

With some trepidation, CERIDOV waits a surprisingly long five seconds before hearing the faint thump of the detonation. Almost immediately, water starts backing up out of the toilets and seeping onto the floor.

After a moment to steady his nerves, CERIDOV unlocks the door and leaves in preperation for the next stage of the plan.

cut to

EXT. GRAND HOTEL DE TROIS ROIS GARDEN- CLOSE UP

Completely at ease, PETROVICH regards his opponent with an expression that's almost friendly.

PETROVICH

As long as we're being so honest with each other, is there anything that you would care to ask?

BRIAN

I heard a rumor that the World Bank is considering loaning your country some money. Is this true?

PETROVICH

Yes. It's a rather transparent attempt to buy my friendship.

Even after all that's happened, the news renders BRIAN almost speechless with disgust.

BRIAN

Unbelievable.

PETROVICH

Not really. They have a choice between something that they've never seen before that might work.

(Gestures at Brian)

And something that will probably fail. But, it's a failure that they have experienced previously and they know how to cover their asses.

(Gestures to himself)

You are dealing with sheep, Brian. Any crime can be easily shrugged off, as long as the correct illusions are maintained.

Suddenly, PETROVICH's look changes to a sort of wistful admiration.

PETROVICH

Damn! I wish that I had the guts to call myself King. To just rub the whole world's face in it. After I crush you and your Kingdom, I will see to it that you will receive magnificent eulogies.

In response, BRIAN doesn't seem very threatened.

brian

Don't count me out just yet. I still have a few tricks up my sleeve.

cut to

Int. hallway, banque de grande marche

As water seeps out from under the bathroom door and out into the hall, a harried BANK FUNCTIONARY is barking orders in German into a cellphone. Adding to his stress is CERIDOV, who is trying to get his attention.

Finally, the man finishes his call and turns to CERIDOV.

bank functionary

Yes, may I help you?

CERIDOV

Can you direct to a differant washroom in the building?

BANK FUNCTIONARY

Sir, the other washrooms may out of order as well.

CERIDOV

Well, I can at least look to see if they are.

With an effort, the BANK FUNCTIONARY remembers to be civil.

BANK FUNCTIONARY

Go up the stairs, second door on the right, first door on the left.

CERIDOV

Thank you.

cut to

int. upstairs hallway, banque de grand marche

CERIDOV enters and, instead of going towards the first door on the left, he makes a beeline towards the one at the end of the hall.

Unlike the others, this door has a truly impressive electronic lock on it. Unfazed, CERIDOV pulls out his wallet, plucks out what only looks like a credit card and inserts it into the door crack near the lock.

It goes off with a slight popping noise and CERIDOV gingerly tests the knob. It turns easily and the man gives a relieved sigh in response.

O.C. Voice

What do you think you're doing?

CERIDOV quickly turns around and sees a 2ND BANK FUNCTIONARY coming down the hallway, flanked by two burly guards.

2nd bank functionary

That is a restricted room! Are you trying to break into there?

Behind them, ENDOVIK steps through the entrance, grinning like a shark and still carrying the briefcase that he had in the office. After pressing a button concealed in the handle, it begins to emit a low high-pitched whine.

ENDOVIK

Yes, he is.

The trio spin around while the whine gets louder. As the pitch increases, everybody's hair starts standing on end.

ENDOVIK

And, I'm here to help him.

He presses the button again and there's a sharp fizzing crack. Sparks fly from the bank worker's watches and other metal accessories as they fall to the floor unconscious.

CERIDOV leans over them with a concerned look.

CERIDOV

I hope that they're all right. I felt that even through the dampener.

Barely sparing them a glance, ENDOVIK is already heading towards the restricted room.

ENDOVIK

We don't have time to waste on sentiment. We have a bank to rob.

cut to

EXT. GRAND HOTEL DE TROIS ROIS GARDEN- CLOSE UP

Both BRIAN and PETROVICH are taking a quiet moment to eat some pastries provided by the hotel. As he washes his mouthful down with a sip of coffee, BRIAN looks up and sees REAVES coming towards them.

The two men stand to greet him. As he draws closer, one can observe a maliciously satisfied smirk oozing up from behind REAVES's professional demeanor.

reaves

Don't bother sitting down. This won't take long.

(To Brian)

Did you think that we were stupid?

The classic response to that (A tradition upheld by generations of students responding to teachers) is "Yes", but BRIAN is content to say nothing and let the bureaucrat run at the mouth.

REAVES

Did you think that we wouldn't figure out your little scheme? You wanted to hold the negotiations in the same city that has Petrovich's bank accounts.

cut to

Int. restricted room, banque de grande marche

ENDOVIK and CERIDOV come through the door and instantly freeze.

REAVES

(V.O.)

It was an interesting bait-and-switch, choosing others to enact the crime while you garnered all of the attention.

The P.O.V. shifts to include the rest of the room. Which is occupied by a dozen soldiers in full tactical gear, pointing sub-machine guns at the pair.

reaves

(V.O. Cont.)

Overall, however, the plan was sloppy and obvious.

The two men carefully raise their hands in surrender.

cut to

EXT. GRAND HOTEL DE TROIS ROIS GARDEN- CLOSE UP

BRIAN just nods and takes the news quietly.

BRIAN

What about Endovik and Ceridov?

reaves

They've been released already.

BRIAN

(Relieved)

Good. We have diplomatic immunity, but it only takes one trigger-happy idiot to make it all go pear shaped.

REAVES couldn't give a damn. He's still milking the moment for every bit of vicious pleasure that he can get.

REAVES

It won't matter in the long run, anyway. You are all finished.

PETROVICH isn't nearly as triumphant. For one thing, he can't help but notice that BRIAN doesn't look particularly worried.

BRIAN

You didn't do that very well.

reaves

What?

BRIAN

I've dealt with a lot of criminal masterminds and supervillians. I've seen a lot of smug bastards gloating over their victory's. And, you? You peaked too early.

This puzzles REAVES, because this isn't how things were supposed to go. Beside him, PETROVICH is starting to have an unpleasant flashback to how the battle turned out.

BRIAN

First, you spend a few moments talking about something trivial. A calm and confident manner helps plant that first seed of doubt in your opponent.

REAVES

Unless you're bluffing.

BRIAN

Well, that's when you reveal that you're not bluffing.

(To PETROVICH)

You might want to check your bank accounts.

PETROVICH's expression goes from worried to Shit-Your-Pants. If the whole country of Tomislavia went to Hell, he wouldn't blink. The money, however, is his safety net.

As the dictator turns away, BRIAN crosses his arms and continues talking to REAVES.

BRIAN

Then, once your enemy knows that he's truly buggered, you can act like a smug bastard and explain about how clever you are.

They wait a few minutes while PETROVICH uses his cell-phone. Soon, he turns back to them with a look on his face that can only be described as "buggered".

PETROVICH

(Furiously)

My money is all gone. How!? How did you do it!?

BRIAN smirks in response.

BRIAN

I asked the Bank politely and they agreed to hand it over.

Disbelief wars with anger on PETROVICH's face. With REAVES, it's just disbelief, pure and simple. Clearly, the two of them were expecting a much more intricate plan.

PETROVICH

What!?

reaves

That's it?

BRIAN

More or less. I did have to make a few phone calls first.

(Beat, to PETROVICH)

You originally got your wealth by cheating fifteen of the world's largest corporations. They hate you, they control trillions of pounds and banks exist because of money. Get the picture?

Realization dawns on the other two as BRIAN continues.

BRIAN

The attempt earlier today was just window dressing, to save a bit of the Bank's reputation. People will automatically assume that I had a back-up team. It looks bad to be a victim, but it's still better than admitting that you invited the thief in through the front door.

PETROVICH has the same look on his face that he wore when he shot KOZLOV. An amused grin combined with a vicious look in his eyes.

PETROVICH

Very elegant. Simple, direct and effective.

He opens his jacket for better access to the gun on his belt. Clearly, appreciation for BRIAN's tactics isn't going to keep a killing from happening.

PETROVICH

I also like simple and effective solutions.

BRIAN

Carefull.

BRIAN shifts his crossed arms just enough so that REAVES and PETROVICH can see that he has a knife in his hand, hidden under the crook of his elbow.

PETROVICH

(Unimpressed)

I'm reminded of an old joke about bringing a knife to a gunfight.

Completely unitimidated, BRIAN doesn't blink.

BRIAN

Your gun is still in the holster and my blade is out and ready. I can cut you at least a dozen times before you pull the trigger.

Meanwhile, REAVES looks like he's about to have a stroke. He's ordered the deaths of many, but he's never actually been in the prescence of violence.

PETROVICH, however, is a old hand at this. He lets his coat fall back as he recognizes the futility of the situation.

PETROVICH

And you have a sniper ready for when I step out of knife range.

BRIAN

Two, actually. My people tend to worry.

The Dictator's anger recedes a bit and he actually manages to dredge up a ghost of a smile.

PETROVICH

I really should have killed you when I had the chance.

(Nods a respectful goodbye)

Your Majesty.

BRIAN

(Returns nod with the same measure of respect)

Mr. President.

As his opponent stalks off, BRIAN slips the knife back up his sleeve. REAVES then chooses this moment to unfreeze.

reaves

I don't know what you think that you're going to do next, but I can assure you that-

BRIAN doesn't even bother to respond. He just walks off, ignoring REAVES in mid-rant.

cut to

INT. PETROVICH'S SUITE, grande Hotel de trois rois.

PETROVICH pours himself a hefty drink while SERENA tries to process all that he just told her.

Being a pragmatic sort, she immediately goes to the bottom line of the situation.

serena

So, what happens now?

petrovich

Simple. Everything falls apart.

cut to

Int. bedroom

PETROVICH

(V.O.)

Half of my men are like Arkadi. Sloppy. I've kept them around because you can't buy loyalty, but all they've done lately is party and lord it over the citizens.

The camera pans across the filthy room during PETROVICH's voice over, moving over several open liquor bottles and a well-used bong before settling on a snoring slovenly THUG.

PETROVICH

(V.O. Cont.)

Quite a few people are going to see this as a golden opportunity. Because a lot of grudges have built up over the last few years.

The THUG snorts, rolls over and blearily opens his eyes. Instantly, they go wide in shock as the camera's P.O.V. shifts to include a half dozen people standing around his bed. Some are grim, some are grinning and all are carrying heavy blunt objects.

cut to

ext. helipad-Tomislavia

PETROVICH

(V.O.)

The other half are the ones who have been keeping my regime together. Professional mercenaries. Competant, but loyal only to cash.

COMMANDER WEBER arrives on the helipad, carrying some bags. After tossing them into a waiting helicopter, he gets in and starts pre-flight checks.

PETROVICH

(V.O. Cont.)

They're all probably halfway out the door by now.

cut to

INT. PETROVICH'S SUITE, GRANDE HOTEL DE TROIS ROIS.

PETROVICH sums it all up as he hands SERENA a drink.

PETROVICH

It took twenty-five years to build my criminal empire the first time and I now have an impressive list of enemies. At the moment, the situation does not look very good for us.

SERENA

Us?

He gives her an "Et Tu, Brute?' look, which she returns with a surprising amount of affection.

serena

I like you, Andrej. We can spend the next few days ordering room service and giving each other a proper farewell. But, by this time next week, I'll be in the Caribbean finding a new rich man to take care of me.

SERENA's blend of brutal honesty and cheerful immorality is something that PETROVICH has always enjoyed. Mostly because it reminds him of himself.

In spite of everything, he gives SERENA an easy grin while holding his glass up for a toast.

PETROVICH

(Friendly)

Whore.

SERENA

(Same exact tone)

Murderer.

They clink glasses and drink deeply.

As PETROVICH drains the whiskey, his cell-phone goes off and causes him to stiffen with surprise.

SERENA

(Curiously)

What is it?

PETROVICH

(Pulls out his cell)

All of the people who have this number are either fled or dead. Except for one rather notable person.

(Pause while he reads the text message)

Bloody Hell.

cut to

int. ballroom- Grande hotel de trois rois

PETROVICH bursts through the door, followed by a more sedate SERENA.

Standing in the nearly empty ballroom is ENDOVIK, CERIDOV, JANA and BRIAN.

PETROVICH

What the devil do you want now?

In reply, BRIAN lifts two long-handled axes from off of a nearby table. Hefting one in one hand, he tosses the other so that it slides along the ground to rest by PETROVICH's feet.

BRIAN

It's time to finish this.

SERENA

(Incredulous)

You must be joking.

BRIAN

It's no joke. Andrej may be penniless, but he's still dangerous.

PETROVICH

And, the only safe enemy is a dead enemy.

PETROVICH picks up the ax and thoughtfully turns it over in his hands.

PETROVICH

I applaud the sentiment, but why didn't you kill me outside?

BRIAN

In front of all of the reporters? I have enough bad PR as it is.

The other man concedes the point with a nod.

PETROVICH

Why axes?

BRIAN

I'm an expert with many things, but I've never used an ax in a fight. Have you?

PETROVICH

During a bar brawl, I tore one off of a wall display and split a man's skull open. Of course, he was so drunk, he could barely stand up. No real skill was involved.

BRIAN

I assumed as much. Axes are hardly modern weapons. Useful, though. Our mutual ignorance will make this a fair fight. Consider it a gesture of honor and respect.

PETROVICH

You need to be careful with how far you take this "Kingly" shit. Too much honor and respect will get you killed someday.

Almost absently, PETROVICH looks at the ax in his hands and then back at BRIAN.

PETROVICH

Why should I do this?

BRIAN

You don't have to. You could always write your memoirs instead. Go on a lecture tour. Do book signings. Appear on early morning talk shows and exchange boring repartee with bland television hosts.

(Beat)

Or, you can try to send one more enemy to Hell.

For an answer, PETROVICH shrugs off his coat and starts rolling up his sleeves.

PETROVICH

I do have one request. If I fall, I want to be interred at the main cathedral in Tomislavia's capitol.

He smirks at everybody's expressions of confusion at that last line.

ENDOVIK

Your corpse would be desecrated within a hour.

PETROVICH

I know. There will a line a mile long of people waiting to spit on me.

jana

Not necessarily. Personally, I was planning on pissing on you.

PETROVICH

Marvelous!

(Laughs with pure delight)

As people wait in line, story after story will be told of the evil things that I've done. With each repetition, I'll become more and more twisted and vicious.

Relishing the moment and the drama, PETROVICH takes a few lazy swipes with the ax while loosening up his shoulders.

PETROVICH

My name will never be forgotten.

(Pause)

But, that's only if I lose.

With a easy motion, the last lazy swipe gets turned into an attack and the fight begins.

Consisting mostly of circling pauses and sudden moments of brutality, two men try to get a feel for each other and their unfamiliar weapons. Soon, they're covered with sweat from their exertions and blood from where near misses nicked somebody.

In a clever move, PETROVICH fakes striking high, reverses his ax and hits BRIAN solidly on the knee with the butt of the handle.

With a boxer's sidestep, BRIAN barely gets out of the way of the following cut. Limping and favoring his leg, he tries to get some distance away from an aggressive PETROVICH.

Then, as PETROVICH attacks, BRIAN straightens up and lunges. Apparently the leg isn't as badly hurt as he made it out to be.

After throwing the ax in his enemy's face, BRIAN tackles PETROVICH while he's flinching and they both go down in a tangle of limbs. In moments, PETROVICH finds himself braced in a headlock with his own ax handle.

One quick neck snap, and the Dictator of Tomislavia lies dead.

As BRIAN catches his breath, SERENA steps forward, kisses her fingertips and brushes them against PETROVICH's forehead. Then, she turns and walks out the door without a backwards glance.

By tomorrow, SERENA will have forgotten him. Or, possibly even by the time that she leaves the building. But, for now, for a brief moment, at least one person truly mourns the passing of ANDREJ PETROVICH.

cut to

ext. tomislavian main cathedral

NEWS ANNOUNCER

(V.O.)

In a bizarre twist of events, President Andrej Petrovich of Tomislavia has died from a broken neck incurred while falling down a flight of stairs.

cut to

int. tomislavian main cathedral

NEWS ANNOUNCER

(V.O. Cont.)

As a final gesture towards the man that he had come to know and respect during recent peace talks, His Royal Majesty Brian Gray of Pannongrad will escort the President's body to it's final resting place.

With the body displayed for viewing, BRIAN places PETROVICH's ax across his breast and props a bottle of single-malt in the crook of his arm. Then, with one last nod of farewell, BRIAN steps back out into the sunlight.

cut to

EXT. TOMISLAVIAN MAIN CATHEDRAL steps

As BRIAN descends the steps, he tenses slightly as a forty-ish looking MAN approaches. The man doesn't look like much of a threat, but BRIAN is still trying to get used to the idea that, being a public figure, average citizens may want to kill him as well.

Stopping in front of him, the MAN doesn't say a word. He merely bows and hands BRIAN a folded piece of paper.

Puzzled, BRIAN unfolds it. The MAN's name, address and the word "Aye" is written down with a bloody handprint stamped across the paper.

And, as BRIAN looks up from the page, he sees other men and women approching with pieces of paper in thier hands.

A rustling noise causes him to look up and BRIAN sees more votes being dropped out of the upper windows of the cathedral and off of the tops of nearby buildings. In moments, the steps resemble a ticker-tape parade as the people of Tomislavia wordlessly ask BRIAN if he would be their King as well.

cut to

ext. tomislavian capitol- empty rooftop

At a fair distance from the blizzard of falling paper, but still close enough to do his job, a sniper waits for the order to pull the trigger.

reaves

(V.O. through Sniper's earpiece)

The leaflet's won't cause any difficulties?

sniper

No sir.

cut to

int. reaves's office

With a drink in his hand and the phone on intercom, REAVES is leaning back in his chair and watching the news coverage of what's happening on the cathedral steps.

Although he's always told himself that he's too much of a professional to let emotions get in the way, REAVES is fully prepared to savor the sight of GRAY meeting his demise.

Taking a sip of brandy, he rolls it in his mouth and swallows as he looks at the former agent on the television screen.

REAVES

Engage the target.

For a few moments, nothing happens. Then-

SIR JASPER

(V.O. through phone)

Mr. Reaves.

Recognizing the voice, REAVES abruptly sits upright.

SIR JASPER

(V.O. Cont.)

Successful politics may be achieved through compromise.

cut to

EXT. TOMISLAVIAN CAPITOL- EMPTY ROOFTOP

SIR JASPER, immaculate as always, is holding a pistol on the SNIPER. Noting the familiar ease that the older man displays in handling the gun, the assassin wisely decides to stay still.

sir jasper

(Cont.)

But, the great moments of history are not.

After a few moments of choking on his own anger, REAVES finally finds his voice.

REAVES

(V.O. through Sir Jasper's earpiece)

JASPER! YOU CAN'T-

And, SIR JASPER promptly cuts him off.

sniper

(Clears throat)

Sir? If I may ask a question, how did you get up here? I blocked every point of entrance.

SIR JASPER

I came up the left side of the building.

Being close enough to look over the edge, the SNIPER peers down. It's twenty stories with no handholds or visible climbing apparatus.

Puzzled, the man looks back at SIR JASPER, who doesn't have a hair out of place.

SIR JASPER

A little climb like that is nothing. Back in the eighties, I spent five months hunting a rogue Chinese General through the Himalayas.

(Pause, shrug)

Long story.

cut to

INT. REAVES'S OFFICE

Left with nobody to vent his bile upon, REAVES settles for pouring himself another brandy and tossing it off.

Reseating himself behind his desk, REAVES glares at the screen where BRIAN is accepting the thanks of his new citizens.

REAVES

This isn't over.

Reaching for some folders, REAVES is startled to see a drop of blood spatter the top one.

Blood starts trickling from his nose and REAVES reaches for a handkerchief. Rapidly, the trickle becomes a fountain and, as his eyes roll up, beads of blood seep from his tear ducts as well.

With a choking gasp, REAVES, who will be mourned even less than PETROVICH, collapses and dies.

cut to

int. reaves's office- secretary's area

REAVES's inner sanctum is soundproofed enough to where none of the workers hear the thump of his collapse. Undisturbed, they go through the normal routines of coming and going on their business.

The camera follows one worker in particular as she leaves, although the P.O.V. is such that her upper torso isn't visible as she goes out into the hallway.

cut to

int. hallway outside of reaves's office

The camera continues to follow the woman as she goes down the hall. It's only after she gets on the elevator that the P.O.V. pans up to show ELLEN.

ELLEN

Oh, yes it is.

As the doors shut, she allows herself a small and grimly satisfied smile.

cut to

int. hallway- pannongrad cathedral-Some months later

As the elevator doors open, EDMONDSON comes briskly walking out carrying a small mahogany chest.

cut to

Int. changing room- Pannongrad cathedral

After being stopped at the door and given a quick search, EDMONDSON is allowed in the room.

Once he's clear, ENDOVIK, CERIDOV and SIR JASPER all watch as the chest gets presented to BRIAN.

EDMONDSON

Her Majesty hopes that this small gesture will be the first of many moments of mutual respect between our two nations.

That little speech gets delivered with the utmost of pleasant sincerity. Unlike REAVES, EDMONDSON knows when to go with the flow.

The contents turn out to be a simple gold crown, elegant without being ostentatious.

BRIAN

Please convey Our thanks to Her Majesty and that We will show a similar gesture of gratitude at some point in the future.

BRIAN puts it on and, between it and the formal suit that he's wearing, the result is ... Regal.

Many people, upon putting a crown on their heads, would look like clowns or actors or somebody else making believe.

BRIAN, however, looks like a leader of a nation. The crown merely makes people realize that, even when he takes it off, BRIAN will still look like a King.

Looking at himself in a nearby floor-length mirror, BRIAN seems more bemused than anything else.

BRIAN

Very impressive.

He takes it off and regards it.

BRIAN

When I abdicate, I'll be sure to take this with me.

Everybody else in the room reacts to the casual pronouncement with shock and disbelief.

ENDOVIK

What!?

CERIDOV

You can't possibly-!

SIR JASPER

You're planning to quit?

As usual, SIR JASPER wastes no time in cutting to the heart of the matter and it's to him that BRIAN first speaks.

BRIAN

It's been part of my plan the whole time.

(To ENDOVIK)

Sergey, part of your plan to fight Petrovich's men was that, if you got slaughtered, the news headlines would focus the world's attention on us. The U.N. would then be pushed into doing something.

ENDOVIK nods at that.

BRIAN

Well, no offense to your men, but people are fighting and dying in wars practically everyday. Nobody cares. A man declaring himself King, however, is unusual. That will make headlines.

CERIDOV

So, the whole thing was a lie?

The look on CERIDOV's face isn't anger or grief, but has the potential to become both. After finally finding something to trust, it will very bitter to have the trust betrayed.

BRIAN

(Completely honest)

No, everything I said was the truth. But, just because I chose to create a monarchy doesn't mean that I'm blind to the flaws in it.

(Beat)

I can be a good King, but what about the ones who come after me? I'm not even married yet, but I have to wonder if my eldest child is capable of running a country.

There's a reflective pause as that simple truth hits home for everyone.

CERIDOV

My son, I can say with absolute certainty, couldn't. He's a very good architect and would be a very poor ruler.

(To BRIAN)

God Damn you, Your Majesty. With one argument, you make me believe in things that I would have opposed five minutes ago. That alone makes me want to keep you as our King.

BRIAN

Don't worry. I'm not leaving tomorrow. The plan was to solve the major problems and then slowly transition the government into a republic. It would probably take about ten or fifteen years.

SIR JASPER

"Was'?

BRIAN

I wasn't expecting Tomislavia to ask me to be King. Now that I have to fix them as well, the timetable is more like twenty or twenty-five years.

CERIDOV and ENDOVIK exchange relieved glances, confident that enough crisises will crop up to keep BRIAN on the throne.

Speaking of which...

CERIDOV

It may take longer than that.

(Beat)

Our neighbors to the west, the citizens of the country of Kostolac, are becoming increasingly dissatisfied with their elected officials. It's not as bad as we had it, mostly the standard corruption and stupidity. But, the idea of joining our alliance has been suggested and it's receiving some popular support among their voters.

At this point, a largely forgotten EDMONDSON pipes up from the corner.

EDMONDSON

With three countries under your belt, you'll be able to change your title to "Emperor'.

The suggestion is made jokingly and gets a few dutiful chuckles. BRIAN, however, just has the same bemused smile that he had earlier.

BRIAN

Emperor Brian the First.

(Puts the crown back on at a jaunty angle)

I must admit, I do like the sound of that.

THE END

As the credits roll, several scenes from the Royal Wedding of KING BRIAN GRAY and LADY ELLEN VREELAND get displayed.

And, yes, she is wearing a tiara.


End file.
